Realms Without Boundaries

When it happens...

2007-11-02T21:49:00.001+05:30

Chapter 1

It is how it happens even in films.
The Hero and the Heroine meet on a rainy morning. Sometimes at nights, when it pours needles and spikes.
Meet under umbrellas, walking their ways into each others hearts.
It happened the same way between them.
Almost the same way.

He could have been better prepared. No use lamenting the heavens. No raincoat, not even a handy umbrella.
And no buses for the past three quarter hour.
He was among the twenty odd people sheltered under the crumbling remains of what was a urban bus stop. There was no sight of any public transport that morning.
Not even the ubiquitous auto rickshaws that over-plied the city.

Blame it on fate. Shiva could do nothing other than wait.
And wait he did.

It was then that he saw her. Clad in a jean and a top. Drenched would be a wary description. A ash gray cap, and denim at that. Headphones at her ears. Black hair that dropped out of the cap, protesting the curb, shining silver with the drops from the skies.

He watched in some thing of an admiration as she whizzed past him on her bike.
Something of a modern times attitude.

She had sped around the corner and out of sight before a jam packed bus rumbled its way to the stop.
And after the others climbed into the metal sandwich, he hung onto the rung with one leg balanced on the space-craved last step.

He looked out onto the roads in futile, searching for a black motorbike, with a pretty girl on it.

A story begins....

2007-10-20T22:16:00.000+05:30

PROLOGUE

There was something in his stare that made me sure that he knew I was lying.
If that was it, then fine. Let him know.
Still, something in me shivered.
What would he do if I did really tell him the truth?

"Sanjay, are you sure that the interview has been cancelled?"

I weighed my words. It was now or never.
Not never, now or later.
Either way, I was going to bear the brunt.

"Yes, Shiva."

He sighed. Maybe he believed me.

"Has it been postponed?"

"Well... No."

"Then?"

"They gave the job to someone the CEO knew."

"All this a farce? I don't believe you."

There it was, out in the open, between us.
He had spoken his mind.
Now, would I speak my heart?

And a note of thanks......

2007-10-02T12:28:00.000+05:30

Whew! That was one whole load of posts!!

I really began it out with the view to just have small short stories based on a whole truckload of imagination.... But then, something kept urging me to keep going at it... My very first mini-novel....

And yup.... To the two people who stayed by and kept reading through each post with the same enthusiasm from the beginning.... Karz and Pari.... And to some of you who stayed by till you could... Thanks a lot.....
It helped to get me at it....

And kept me typing all that crap....

Somewhere along the way, I really fell in love with both Shriya and Krish, the protagonists who helped carry the emotional load that I was stuffing on them.....

Model characters..... And very very real people, who could make a few dreams come true....

And yes.... A little bit of truth at the fag end of it all....
All these characters are based on real living breathing people...People whom I admire and people who I wish I could get to know better.....

Keep checking...... More posts on........... :P

.........Magic.........

2007-09-30T12:52:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 63

Krish informed Shradha the night before he left... They planned the place and the time.... He had a whole day to while away before he could meet Shri....

He wondered why it was that he was feeling alternate pangs of guilt, excitement, anxiety and awkwardness... On the whole he summed it up as natural as he packed....

"I just wish that I was there with you when you meet her.... But then I realize it be better that you two meet each other alone... " Kamala smiled at him as he left.... She had promised him that she would take care of explaining everything to people back at home...

He smiled... And as he walked out to the car, Kamala looked up at the skies, hoping that it all turned out fine.... for all of them...

Shradha managed to convince Mythili about it all.... She even arranged a call between Mythili and Kamala, who promised that it was going to shape up well this time...

It was when Shradha spoke to Shriya that she kept pausing and minding her words.... If anything slipped, then she knew it would all be lost...

"Hey... please.... Come on.... You know the place right? We were there a couple of years back.... Come with us Shri... You will love the change..."

"Why should I be coming there when you and Hemanth are going to have a nice time... Keep to yourselves and relax.... Besides, Hemanth might get fed up having me tagging along with you two love-birds...."

Shradha managed what she guessed was a convincing laugh.... "He won't ... And you know what... He has some stuff to do... Some deal to make with some client... So am going to be alone anyway and you need a change of scene..... "

"Hey... Get Hemanth to talk to me... What does he think of it all? Of you?.... You are going to be some kind of secondary interest in the whole vacation eh? He needs some telling.... Deal eh? Ask him to put all that stuff for later....."

"No worries... He will finish it up within a couple of days.... Lets just hang out together... please Shri.... "

It took a whole lot of cajoling, reasoning and threatening before Shradha relaxed.... Shriya had agreed on one clause.... If she was to come, she would have to be left alone, so that she could spend time with herself and get out of the guilt of having intruded into their time together.....

Shradha smiled.... As though she had any other plans for her, other than leaving her alone.... almost alone.....

It was a short trip to the resort, by the East Coast Road, infamous for such small relaxation places, complete with the charm of the ocean in the foreground.....

Shriya insisted on a separate single bedroomed cottage for herself and they found her one that was smaller than the rest there.... It was on her insistence that they left her completely alone till lunch....

"Are your friends always this cranky?"

"Remember you too started out as my friend..." That silenced Hemanth.

Lunch passed with a kind of a calmness that was characteristic only of the sea....

"Know what Shradha.... There is something beautiful about this day.... I mean, look out at the sea.... There is something that it holds only to itself, na.... Something so beautiful that anyone can feel it, but very few revel in......"

Shradha looked at her in surprise.... If she was going to get even a wee bit sensitive, it would help a lot, particularly when Krish found his way down here....

Anyway, as Shriya maintained her silence through the rest of the day, there was no way of ever finding out if she was getting any the more soft within....

The evening lights had come up on the beach, though they were far and few in between... Shriya dragged her bare feet in the sand... They reflected the golden hues of the yellow lamps and took on a rather sand gold color themselves....

She moved further away down the beach... Reaching somewhere very close to the waters... Though not yet there.....

The evening sky was turning a deep blue, with clouds scattered everywhere and she suddenly wished that Shradha and Hemanth were here, but then Shradha had told her that they were hosting a small business meet in their cottage, and hence, here she was all alone....

There were almost no stars around..... Though the moon kept poking around from behind huge white gray clouds....

She had tried wishing on the stars a million times.... But maybe now....

She wished upon the moon.... "If it is really true that everything in this world has a meaning, including dreams and wants, visions and realities, make me realize it this night...." she paused, maybe that was asking for too much..." Or any night as eternal as this one."

She laughed aloud even as she finished.... Talk about being kiddish... If anything, she could rather have been a starry eyed fifteen year old for all that crap....

Maybe the same starry eyed fifteen year old that she had been whenever he passed across....

She winced... Why was her mind playing games with her? Or her heart? If he was meant to be forgotten, he was....

She turned on the loudspeaker in her ipod... It was some silly hindi song... Not that it mattered though.....

She spoke out aloud.... For a moment, imagining him somewhere deep within her memories....

"It's over, in case you did not still realize.... Or you do not still bother.... I am done with anything that is remotely related with you.... Someday, I wanted to tell you this... In person... But then it doesn't matter.... Goodbye Krish....." she paused and added as a quick afterthought.... "Just keep getting the hell out of my life... I don't want to run into you, with some future wife and kids of yours around.... Make sure we don't meet again.... "

That was kind of cheerful... Though she was sure she would never voice out expletives, absence did not mean nonexistence.......

She had not expected a reply though.....

"I am really sorry that I keep messing up things... And never seem to do what you expect of me...."

She gasped and turned around.... And looked up....

There are always these rare moments of magic....

It was one such moment now, there between them, as the sky and earth held suspended, she gazed at him, more in surprise than in shock.... The ipod had gone conveniently silent....

He smiled.... Once again the lopsided, three cornered grin.... And once again she wished that he wouldn't do that, for every resolve within her was on the verge of slipping into oblivion....

"Why are you here?" There was something remotely like anger in her voice....

"I just told you right.... I have this inane sense of missing out on what you really want at times that I mess up meetings."

"What kind of meetings? You call these stupid come-acrosses as meetings?"

"Not really stupid.... " he lowered his voice..."It was all planned."

"Planned? How the hell..... You mean Shradha?"

"I am in no way going to say it is Shradha.... I promised her I will not." he laughed...

"Oh... Stop it man.... And get out of this place..."

She turned away, toward the sea and started to walk down to it.... He caught her hand and followed...

She shrugged him away.... But remained silent as he stood by her at the waters...

They were a frothy white... Those waters....

"Know swimming?"

"I do not...."

"That is even better... I can teach you... Want to start? It is actually very simple..."

"I don't think I asked for a trainer...."

He was quiet... Curiosity got the better of her...

"How simple is it?"

"Very.... The strokes come later.... First you need to get into the water..."

She really could do nothing as protest as he dragged her inside the water.... It was warm, but then she rebelled...

"Stop it Krish.... This is stupid... No I was stupid to have asked you..." She walked out, wet till the neck and sat down on the sands, warily well away from the waters...

He followed with a smile....

"What were you doing? Trying to drown me? You do this with every girl eh?"

"The water is no more deep than your knee level here.... And I don't do this to every girl... Only to girls who reject me...."

She was silent, as though the topic was getting to be something she wasn't interested in...

He kept watching her.... She turned around in disgust....

"Please go away Krish... "

"I am as much here as you are, to relax.... I mean I am vacationing."

"Fine... You stay here...." She started walking away...

"Wait Shriya... " He caught up with her, "Listen to me.... Look... There is something I have to tell you.... "

"Go on...." She stopped and looked at him...

"Let us get near the waters.... "

"No... I mean... Not very close there.... There are...er....crabs..."

He laughed.... "Trust me .... They won't hurt you.... " He pulled her to the shores.... They stood there, in silence, lost within the spaces between them....

"You wanted to tell me something...."

He sighed and pulled something out of his pocket.... The fortune cookie prediction....

She read it through.... And turned to face him....

"So?"

"There were times in my life, Shriya, times when what I did was not what I really wanted to do.... Times when I sometimes kicked myself for not having done something better.... Something less practical and more .... more sensitive."

She listened in.... But he was in no rush, pausing in between and looking at the skies, which had by then taken on a deep purple shade....

"And you were part of such times.... I knew even back in school that you had a certain something for me.... That you were, to say in the least, smitten.... But it did not make much difference to me.... You were maybe the first girl who I knew liked me... But then later there were many more and I was not really bothered about any of them, sadly, including you...."

The dark clouds were parting somewhere above them in the skies.... Some stars were starting to shine through the holes, making small blobs of light visible in that massive purple....

"Somewhere in between, I realized that you were different from all of them.... Never the boisterous one, never seeking attention, never even aware of whether I knew it all or not.... You would have rather preferred I ignored you, because you were naive.... and you were scared of me.... Something that I did not expect from any one..."

She swallowed... Lumps were forming in her throat.... She wished she would not cry just then, not in front of him....

"You were not beautiful, not even pretty by the standards then, but I knew I wasn't really looking for that in women... In fact, you helped me realize what it was that mattered to me as far as women were concerned...."

The clouds that had scattered conglomerated at a different point, adding dark shade after shade to that part of the heavens and the star light showed everywhere else....

"And then, still there was the 'love' part of it all... I never really knew when I would fall in love... Leave alone with whom.... Somehow these did not matter much.... And somewhere in that decade, I realized I was already in."

The waves were lapping at their feet, silent whispers of foam that cleansed the sand every now and then, heaving up and falling down....

"I always had this piece of paper with me... Something that I never threw away..... Though I got it someday when the fad was to think girls were fluffs of nothingness.... And every time I read through, it was you who swept through my thoughts, then nothing more than a love-struck classmate."

The purple skies had blended with the dark waters in the horizon... And everything seemed to close in between them, him standing a few feet away from her, staring up at the stars as he spoke on....

"I wrote it all down in a diary.... Under the name of Maya.... You know the usual name that guys give their fantasy loves.... But then this wasn't a fantasy, nor was this anything that was then realized as love.... I just wanted to vent out what ever it was that I was feeling..... And one day, mom read through it...."

She looked up at him.... He was still facing the sea, away from her... And there was a small hint of a smile in his tone...

"It did not come to much... She took it all easy, the usual crap that most teens write, the 'love and deep in it' stuff.... Only, it was much more than that... It was where I really got stuff out of my already confused mind and put in words, so that some time later as I re-read through, I understood that a long while ago.... I had fallen for a silent, innocent girl, and had been stupid enough not to really understand what it had been that I had felt the first time I had ever seen her... a non-entity in my life then..... The real enormity of that eternal, long ago whisper... Soulmates...."

He paused... A long while.... She was silently crying..... It did not matter if he heard her now...

"It was then that I started believing in druids and faeries..."

He turned around.... And walked up to her...

There was something about the way she was crying.... the pain of all these years portrayed in those pure tears.... It made him hug her...

She looked up at him... The stars shining in the sky above them, small patterns that she had watched all these years.... They formed the perfect background against the two of them...

He was still smiling, his eyes moist too.... And then he spoke....

"Tell me Shri.... What do you want from me now? Just go ahead and ask... I swear I won't mess this time...."

The stars glimmered.... The purple was enticing, making her forget the past, linking her with what was the promise of beautiful tomorrows.... The sounds of the waves were edging her on to talk it out with him.. tell him what she wanted to.... what she had ever wanted to....

It was easier said then done... She was getting nervous all over, and he was hugging her tighter....

Something in her was calling out... prompting her to tell him... She looked at his eyes... The same sparkle of eternity, the same knowing, and there was something in them that she had not realized till then, though she had noticed....

The light of warm and soft love....

She drew in her breath...

He was still waiting... Looking at her...

And she knew that what she was going to do was what they both wanted... The beginning of infinite promises....

And the very strength for it all she drew from him....

She kissed him...

It was a magical moment... One that swept over their eternities and their silence, one that drew them in an embrace of the souls, the elements standing testimony to yet another infinite tale of togetherness and Twin Souls....

The waves danced around their feet, the earth held them in tight hold, the wind breezed past in quick sweeps, the clouds rejoined somewhere above in space....

And the eternal fire in the stars glowed, soaking in the light of love profound....

They broke apart, both breathless....

Held in secure embraces, eyes lit up, they stared at each other, smiles breaking out, him in surprise, her in shyness....

"Was that what they call sudden miracles?"

She laughed....

"I rue fate for making me wait this long for this....."

She smiled....

"Krish?"

"Hmm?"

"There was a dream some months back.... I mean it all happened... And then some...."

"I will start believing in dreams too....."

"What can all this be Krish?"

"Maybe I can give you a sermon on it... But I can give you a word for it too..."

"What?"

"Magic...."

They walked on, hand in hand, towards the cottages, little petite doll houses that stood lighting up the other end of the beach....

Behind them, the waves kept dancing, jigs in near horizon.... The purple blanket expanded as golden and silver star lights weaved their way through... And it started to rain.....

In between the visible heavens and the mysteries of yonder, the druids and faeries gathered.... The stars glistening from the tips of their magical wands... and cried, not out of cheer.... but at the vagaries of fate, as the two down on earth walked toward their future... in blessed oblivion... to the all-consuming drama that was going to unveil in their future.... the drama of Destiny.....

~~~~~~~~~~~END OF THE SEQUENCE~~~~~~~~~~~

And Everything Climaxes.......

2007-09-30T11:54:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 62

She waited until a sleepy voice answered....

"Helloo?"

"Hi Rithi.... This is Shradha, remember?"

She was taking sometime to recollect....

"Hey... yes.... Wow.... How are you? Been years right?"

"Years...yes.... And hey sorry about the time..."

She laughed.... "That is fine.... Though 11 at night is a weird enough time to get back together... Am real happy you called.... Heard you are hitched... Man! How weird is that?"

"Not very weird.... In fact, I sometimes wonder what other way it could have ever turned out to be.... "

"Meaning you like it? Great....."

"Well Rithi... I just want to get to the point.... I got your number from Priya.... Can you do me a favor?...," She did not wait for an answer...."Can you get me Krish's contact number?"

Rithika seemed completely awake... There was an awkward pause... Then,

"It has been a long time since I ever spoke to him... He might have got a new number...."

"That doesn't matter.... Just give me the one that you have...."

Shradha scribbled down the number that Rithika mumbled....

"Thanks Rithi.... I have something to do now.... Will get back to you this weekend... Good night!"

Rithika kept the receiver back in the cradle and stared at the ceiling... She wondered if Shradha would ever call her back....

Shradha glanced at the mobile number and then at Hemanth who was looking at her from across the room.... She dialed and waited with a sense of apprehension....

She was still unprepared when Krish answered....

"Hello?"

"Hey... Is that Krish?"

"Yes... And this is?"

"Shradha.... Shriya's friend...."

There was a short pause.... If he was startled or surprised, nothing in his voice showed it....

"Yes...Tell me Shradha.... I guess we were classmates years back..."

"Yup... We were... And well... I wanted to ask you if you really like Shri..."

She realized that she was gripping the receiver.... Hemanth had walked up to her and was standing near....

"I do...."

She almost did not hear it... And then when she realized what he had just said, she squealed and hugged Hemanth, who was pleasantly surprised....

"That is great! I mean... Great!"

She could hear him laughing... Though the laugh sounded strained....

"I know.... I mean all this looks hopeless to you, does it?"

"Not really.... ," he weighed his answer..."It would be something if I do get to talk it out with her..."

"Why are you not doing it then?"

"Because I know for sure that she is not going to be very excited if I call her up and ask to meet her... "

"True... So what had you planned?"

"Well.... I am in touch with Gauri here... and she had promised me that she would call Shriya for her house warming ceremony next month... Thought I could meet her there...."

"For which I am sure she would not have come... I mean anything about you and she flares up..."

He groaned,"Wonderful.... Meaning I have almost zero chance....."

"No... Meaning we have to act before that one month...."

"How?"

Shradha drew in her breath.... Hemanth was holding her hand.... She smiled at him and continued....

"If you can drop by here sometime, I can see that you meet her.... Because next month, she is planning to leave to London take up an exam for enrolling in a course on International Law..... Though I know that she is doing it only to get away from here....,"she paused...." from you..."

"I can get down there anytime...."

"Great! Then get yourself here this weekend... "

"That's three days away..."

She laughed.... "Yes.... Can't you wait three days? I mean compared to her waiting...."

He laughed too.... "I will.... And Shradha....."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for everything..."

She laughed again... "Hey I can't promise you anything, I mean she may smell out the whole thing and then forever it may be a royal fiasco...."

"I trust you....."

"Thank you for that... And yes... I will get things ready.... Now that you know my number, give me a call before you leave from there...."

"Agreed..... And thanks...."

She said goodbye to him and hung up.... Hemanth was smiling at her...

She smiled back at him..... Somehow, it was all getting to turn out right...

As a conversation ensues

2007-09-25T22:14:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 61

As she stood in her balcony, Shradha fiddled with the leaves of her favorite rose plant.

"Ouch! That hurt....," she mumbled to herself as she nursed a thorn-hurt finger.

She walked in into the room and sat down on the cream upholstered divan.... And gazed at the photo beside it on the ottoman.....

Her and Shriya, a long past time ago, laughing out at something..... she even remembered what it had been... Some all-fun time when they had set out to beg - borrow - steal money to buy ice creams for their "gang" and this was a shot with them giggling over their "prize catches".

She winced as she remembered that that had been one of the last times ever when they had been that happy.... Life had gone all wrong and right then... Now that, with all those ever winding cross roads, both were not very sure what the future held out to them.

She thanked her Gods that Hemanth was there, to share it all with her..... Even as she turned away from the photo, he entered into the room.

"Nostalgic?"

"Very."

"Hey, don't worry... Things will turn out all right.... what with Shriya now back home, you girls can make up for all that lost time in between."

"She has a life beyond it all, right?"

"Which I am very sure she can take care of..."

"No... She can't," it came out more vehemently than she had intended.... "Look at the holy mess that she had landed herself in.... With all that she had coming, I would have thought that she could have been more sensible, if not sensitive."

"Look at things from her shoes.... How could she have ever been sure that there was really something between them? It might have all been an on-the-spot decision by Krish right?"

"What? Could you ever ever talk sense?"

"Well... Not very sure that I can, ever since I met you...," he stopped trying to make her smile and continued in a voice that made her take note...."She could never have been sure that he liked her too.... There was something really confusing.... Why would he send someone to talk truth, if at all it was, at the fag end of it all? On the eve of her departure? Means only that he himself took a hasty decision.... on which factors, we will never be sure of..."

"You don't know him."

"Nor do you."

"Well, I beg to differ... I do.... He is the kind of person who is actually many in one... And when that sensible part of him finally surfaced, he has tried to really act as his heart told him to.... over his mind."

"You mean....?"

"With him, it was a long ago made decision.... I will not blame him for now, it is simple logic... He kept postponing till he could and then panicked..."

"Why do you not tell her all this then?"

"Because she knew it all even before it happened and then when it did, she acted the way she did... Which, by the way, was sheer stupidity..."

"Why would she do that?"

Shradha shrugged with a sigh... "I don't know, really don't"

He smiled.... Somehow it seemed to lift all that heaviness out of her.... She studied his face.... And then realized that it was his eyes that was giving him away... He was really worried about her.... And seemed to be trying his best to get her out of this mood.

She realized then that he meant a lot to her, and looking at him, she knew she meant a lot to him too...

And thinking about Shriya, she realized that she was more clear as what she had to do...

She smiled back.... "Maybe I will make you something nice today... What about Indian-Chinese dinner?"

His face immediately brightened and his eyes sparkled.... "Sure! And some great dessert to wash it down..."

She laughed and then turned to him with a serious expression," You do realize that you are lucky to have me right?"

He replied..."I realize am rather more luckier to have simpler best-friends..."

He Thinks....

2007-09-24T22:28:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 60

The diary lay forgotten by the open pen.... The ink had dried up long ago....

The papers with codes and notes all over them fluttered noisily, the only sound in all that silence...

He was staring at his fingers, as though they held the solution to his problem...

Someone knocked and entered. Krish did not turn around....

"I heard what happened.... Preetha told me... Krish?"

His annoyance was conveyed in his reluctance to answer her. Aarthi shrugged with impatience and yet continued with all the soberness she could muster....

"Sometimes, Krish, not all that you think happens.... There is a lot of deceit all over... Just move on with your life.... Take the right decision.... ," she continued now, with genuine softness, "I hoped that you would some day marry my sister.... It looked like natural to me... "

That was when he swiveled around and faced her... His reply was just a word... "No."

"I guessed that, Preetha made her point clear too... She wanted none of all this, I still think that she did like you.... but that was long back... "

He had turned away again.

"Just hope that you will get out of this clear... I came over to tell you this because I don't want to strain relations in here.... After all I am part of this family, I just guess Preetha has something better."

He smiled to himself at this and replied, with a cheerful note in his voice....

"You are right.... I can be pretty impossible at times.... And Preetha deserves more than you thought she did.... ," he paused and added more softly, "Thanks for talking out, there was a time when I thought you were being kind of.... er..."

"Interfering? Yes, I guess I was..... Sorry"

"That is alright.... Hey I realize you are more better than what I thought of you...." he laughed.

Aarthi laughed and then added... "I am feeling light... The guilt is like off me... I never really realized I was being stupid.... Glad we sorted things out.... Once more it's proved right... I mean... Talking out and correcting stuff.... I wish that you somehow get out of this phase unscathed... You deserve to, you know..."

She closed the door behind her, leaving him pondering over what she had just said....

It was an epiphany.....

Nothing but Lies

2007-09-19T19:49:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 59

She waited. It was like the calm before the storm, in usual words.

Kamala cleared her throat. But it was her father who spoke up.

"What is the problem Shriya?"

"Nothing, actually. I er.... just felt lonely, and you know, could not even cook up a proper meal for myself," she managed a laugh, but it seemed echoed in the silence there.

Her mother was looking at her strangely.... so was her father.... And so was everyone.... except Shradha..... She was still staring at the floor.

They knew?

Anger surged with her.... so did despair.... How would she ever explain.....

At that moment, in blind fury, the only person who was responsible for this whole mess that she had gotten herself into was Krish.... And he was the one who was out of it....

She stared at Shradha....

A pause....

"Krish is my grandson, the younger one..... They were classmates once.... In school.... He told me everything. I hope you don't mistake, but I think that this is a case of classic confusion between the two. They really like each other and there is so much respect mutually. Only, they are egoistic."

Shriya was silent. She just wished she wasn't growing this uneasy, and wished away her tears.

"We were told about Krish..... In fact, Shradha told us that it was mostly lopsided, on Shriya's part.... might have been mere infatuation.... but from what you say...... I guess there was more to it...."

The conversation continued. Shradha was beyond repent now. She looked at Shriya, into her eyes, as steadily as she could. It was like she was willing her strength.

"Shriya?"

It was like she had been pulled out of which ever world she had been walking in.

Her eyes were unfocused with unshed tears. She kept trying to look up at her parents, but could not get herself to.

"Shriya? Do you agree? Of course, this is just for a verbal affirmation. We know...."

They were all smiling at her.... She realized it had been about marriage.

"No.... I am not.... I mean I don't want to.... Please....," she stiffened,"I guess it was just infatuation.... nothing more... I realized it over the last few days.... He means nothing to me... And am serious."

She paused and then looked at Kamala, her eyes firm yet with more gentleness than what she felt she was just then capable of giving anyone....

"I am sorry.... really.... Just tell him...."

If they were looking at her in shock, it was nothing to the stare that Shradha was giving her....

Facing everyone...

2007-09-18T22:05:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 58

She dragged her feet to the door... And opened it..... Shocked, Shriya mumbled a welcome.

Kamala strode into the house.

"Nicely kept. The place doesn't look as though you are packing up."

"Nothing here belongs to me, except my clothes and some kitchen stuff. Yes, and my laptop and other gear. I came here with a duffel and two suitcases. Will go back with one more case extra."

"You won't ask me why I am here?"

Shriya sighed.

"I guess Krish told you I am leaving and you came over to meet me. Thanks for coming over. Coffee?"

"Would it not have been nicer had you come over, Shriya?"

"I... er..... had some stuff to do...."

"I spoke to Gauri before coming over. She was shocked to hear you were leaving. Looks like you are in a real hurry to get out of here."

Shriya was setting the milk to boil. She looked up as Kamala entered the kitchen.

"I took this decision in a kind of haste. Will be telling her before I leave. I should have dropped by at your place..... I don't know why.... I thought I will call you up before I leave.... I really did."

"Shriya? Are you still hurt with Krish? I know he acted how he shouldn't have, yet, at least for love's sake....."

She almost let go of the cup she was filling with coffee. She set it on the kitchen table and turned to face Kamala...

"You......"

"Krish told me Shriya, he told me everything that happened."

"And?" Shriya was scared and nervous. Were things alright? Looked like she was in deeper waters than ever.

"And? He loves you"

"Does he, now? I really do not understand his ways of love. He is so playful, how can I ever presume that he isn't playing around this time?"

"I know him. You were the first ever girl to whom he ever showed care."

"Doesn't make that love."

Just then, the knocker sounded. Both of them hurried into the living room, Shriya, a frown on her face and Kamala with firmness etched wide.

She stood shocked at the door, for the second time that evening.

Shocked, might be an understatement.

Shradha looked over Shriya at Kamala, and walked right in. Shriya's parents followed. Hemanth hovered around at the end, seemingly in half minds, whether to step in or stay out. He gave up contemplating and stepped in, closing the door behind him.

"You all?" It was difficult, but Shriya found her voice.

Her mother looked at Kamala and then at Shriya.

"This is Kamala aunty ma.... Remember? I told you I was called for Dussera by a Tamizh family here? And this is my mom, dad, my friend Shradha and her husband Hemanth." She finished with a flourish of her hand.

"Thanks for having her there. She was lonely here and missed home. She told me lots about you, I guess you have been very hospitable," Mythili thanked the older woman, who smiled.

Shriya stood by nervously as they all seated themselves. And then she stared at Shradha, who was pointedly staring at the floor. Hemanth looked strangely miserable and was studying the cushioned ottoman.

No one spoke for a while. Shriya wondered why her dad was sitting by very silently, against his normal nature.

She realized that she was going to witness something catastrophic by her standards. Even as her throat went dry, she realized they were all staring at her.

Dealing Truth

2007-09-18T07:13:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 57

Shriya's mother was all smiles as she watched Shradha. It gave her a certain relief that she was there in town. Sometimes when she missed Shriya, she could call upon Shradha. And Shradha always visited whenever she could take time off.

"How is the teaching going? And how about your research?"

It was Hemanth who answered. "She is really enjoying it. Too many good looking research scholars there..... Sometimes I rue my decision to have gotten into this job..... Might have had more fun 'researching'."

They all laughed. That is, all, except Shradha. She was concentrating on her coffee.

"What happened Shradz? You seem tired."

"It's Shriya, I actually came here to talk about her."
She sighed. It was better to be direct. Only, she did not know how to get on from here. She waited.

"Shriya? I know, she got so lonely there. When she told me she quit, I was strangely only happy that she was getting back. Call it mother's emotions."

"It is more than mere loneliness."

"Meaning?"

This was getting tough. She hoped Hemanth would suddenly disappear. It was suddenly difficult talking with him there.

He understood, and got up.

"Hey, you people talk it over. I got to make a call. I will wait in the lawn. Call me when you finish."

He left.

Mythili, Shriya's mother was still sitting straight in her chair, waiting for Shradha to continue.

"She liked someone and....... "

"What? You don't mean to say she had a live-in or something. I know Shri won't, she just isn't that type."

"Oh no...no no..... She would rather be the last person on Earth for that. It is more simpler and yet more complex."

"Relax, child. Tell me."

Somehow, in halting words and falling tones, Shradha spelled out everything.

At the end of it, Mythili spoke, looking rather shaken.

"It is tough to think of Shri this way. I mean she still remains a child to me and suddenly it's like she has grown up and ...... She quit because of some boy? We better get over there and bring her home back as soon as possible......"

"Yes. I wanted us to go there, too."

"She even refused to have us over to help her. She told me and her father that she could very well manage with the packing."

Mythili started to call Shriya's father at his office.

"I will get Hemanth to book the tickets for today evening." Shradha hurried out into the lawn to find him. There was something light in her heart now, with the major part sorted out.

Inside the house, Mythili was narrating it all to her husband. Even over the phone, she realized he was listening with a frown on the other side.

They agreed that he should get back home early that evening, so that they start. And they agreed they wouldn't let Shriya know that they were coming.

After she ended the call, she sat for a long time on the couch, hoping that Shriya would get out of the whole mess unscathed.

When she got out of her reverie, she realized that Shradha was sitting by her, staring silently at her fingers.

"I just hopes she doesn't get too lonely out there. You know, on second thoughts, Shradha, I just want to bring her back home, away from any kind of pain or hurt that could ever get to her. It is fine even if she never works, as long as she is safe and happy."

Shradha just nodded, apprehension rising all over again.

Woe and A Confession

2007-09-17T18:18:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 56

She could not hear his reply. Was he answering? ........ It didn't seem that way.... Something was up... Rather, down.

Kamala knocked hard, and called louder, "Krish!"

"Later"

She was shocked. It wasn't like Krish to ever refuse to meet her. She opened the door silently and stepped in.

He was near the window, in the rocking chair, legged propped up on a side table, staring out.

She realized he was crying.

"Krish? What happened dear?"

He was startled, and turned around in shock. It was so sudden that he forgot he was crying, forgot to wipe away his tears and forgot to hide away that piece of paper in his hand.

"I have never seen you cry, except for that day in sixth grade when you were hurt that your friends stole away your lunch, more so with the fact that they did so when you could have given them yourself"

He was collected by now, and realized she was more affected with his pain than she was showing. It wasn't like his grandmother to get nostalgic.

"Nothing is wrong. Just a small tiff at work."

They were silent for a very long time.

She started. "Who is it Krish?"

"Just a sub, he wasn't sure of the codes, you know, an engineer and his coding was awful and I..."

"I meant, is it that Shriya?"

Again, as always. He just smiled. She could never be fooled.

"Shriya? Hey.... Actually...."

"I know it Krish, I know you never bother about girls the way you bothered about her... rather the way you bothered her that day."

"It was just plain friendship."

"Let me hear that again."

He was quiet. He knew he could not say that again. She wasn't just a friend.

"Give me that, Krish"

She reached over and pulled the paper from his hands. He made a grab for it, causing her to grip it more firmly. She read through, aloud.

"Angels appear in this world in the least expected places ~ Search for them and you will find them not ~ Search within yourself and there She resides"

"And what did that angel do to you, Krish? What went wrong? What was it that made you cry, child?"

He somehow wished he could stop those tears, stop the jitter, stop the pain from returning.

He turned away and stared at the window sill, at the grills, at the curtain and at the floor.

"I love her."

Kamala smiled, beyond her wish. It was hurting her that he was hurt, but that voice with which he said that......... Oh! The ways of youth!

"Did you tell her?"

"Not yet...... I wanted to, many a time."

"Why did you not?"

"I am still wondering about that."

"So, at least when she told you.... You could have right?"

He sat up straight.

"How do you know it gran? That she told me?"

"It was all over her face that she liked you. And it was almost evident you never realized the extent. And I know, you wouldn't have known until she had worded it."

"Great. I was the ass all along."

"You still are."

He gave her a sad look. "I want to tell her. But not in any simple way. I want it to be something monumental."

"And what do you plan it to be?"

"I thought I will tell her just the day before she leaves her."

"Leaves? You mean she is vacating Bangalore?"

He nodded. "She quit."

"Because of?"

He winced. "I hoped you would not ask me that. It was me, gran , me cause of whom she leaving. I screwed it all up royally."

"Explain."

He started. Over the evening, he told her everything that had ever happened, including those far away times at school.

It was almost dinner time when she stood up. He was beaming and she smiled. Somehow he still looked pained, though the major part was past their plan.

She stopped on her way out of the door.

"Get back down now, else your mother will get wild. She missed seeing you the whole day, you just scurried off here, which was why I followed," she paused, "You mean a lot to a lot of people, Krish. Realize that."

She shut the door softly behind her.

His smile faded. He stared at the paper and then at something on his table. The well- faded diary.

"Realized it, the day I started writing this. But today I realize enough to act, Shriya."

He hoped she could hear him then.

Packing and Panicking

2007-09-16T20:06:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 55

She was set to leave.

The tears never came after that night. She was emotionally drained. And unprepared.

But she knew she should collect her thoughts and move on.

Collect her pains and move away, as far as she could from this wretched land. And as fast as she could. And it had all taken a single soul.

"You are mad, Shriya.... Gave up that job for him? You are insane.... You threw away that career for him?"

"For myself, Shradha"

"Oh hell!"

"No, worse than that. You know, I told you about Rajeev"

"That doesn't matter. He seemed decent. He would have never disturbed you. Accept it Shri, you allowed Krish to do this to you"

"Shradz, am tired. Stop arguing"

"No. I will not. See light."

"Am not going to have this now. Shradz stop it. Please"

"Shri, get this straight. Stop packing. Please. You can take back that resignation"

The line went dead. Shradha swore.

It needed more than arguments. It needed downright stiff reasoning.

She dressed up. Time to meet them.

She knew that at least now she had to square out with Shri's parents. They could no more be under the illusion that Shriya was getting back only because she was feeling alone.

Lonliness. She knew Shriya had had enough of that too.

On an impulse, she called Hemanth to accompany her.

And hoped that this would all end well. The way it was meant to end.

Yes? No?

2007-08-29T20:20:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 54

Was it all going to go this way?

Unexpressed?

It was a revelation to himself.... That he had more to himself than he had cared to know all along. That there was a part of him that surprised him and made him reel with shock.

That he wasn't himself when he was with her.... near her.... thinking of her....

The drizzle of rain was getting heavy... Was it going to pour? What sign was it all?
The windshield was getting spattered with those tiny drops... meandering meaninglessly in front of him... more confusion to add to it all...

Why do you hurt me so Shriya?

There was something that evening that wasn't right.... Nothing was... Why should he try to make sense of what was happening?

He must forget it all.... She had... After all...

Or had she not? Every fibre of him told him that she was still aching... still in pain.... untold... telling him that he should get back to her right then. to make things clear.... to just be there.... forever....

He shook that feel away... If anything, meeting her now would be the silliest thing that he had ever attempted.... And he was not even sure that he had the guts...

But then she was going to get out right? Get out to Chennai....

Whatever.... Let her go....

Someday she will be back... No....

He had a better idea... As it formed... He smiled.... Through his fading pain....

Someday, Shriya... Someday..... He promised... Not to her... not to him... to them.....

And a few kilometres away, all she could keep asking, staring at the photo in her hand was...

"Why Krish?... Did you have to hurt me so... to have me accept that I loved you?.... Hurt me beyond reprieve? "

A Confession And A Dismissal

2007-08-25T19:54:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 53

He started early..... Now all that he needed was to go meet her....

If only it was all this simple...

He was scared... For the first time in his life, Krish Shanker was scared of the consequences of his decisions... however impulsive they were....

He was driving into Benson Town... Near her apartments.... He parked by the corner.... And walked down to her flats...

His pace slowed as he reached the gates... And walked through them.... Up to her floor....

He knocked the heavy brass knocker.... hoping she would not hear... he did not try the door bell...

The door opened and she stood there... hair disheveled... an apron dangling loose around her neck...

"Shriya... Hi"

She just opened the door wider and let him walk in... She walked off into the kitchen...

He was already nervous.... He followed her in... And left the front door open...

It somehow seemed stupid to try to close it after him.... He paused by the kitchen entrance and cast a glance at the room beside it.... The photo frame was not there....

She was rolling out chapathis... he watched her work hard at it....

"I never manage to get them a perfect round"

"What! Oh.... "

"Anyways... Practice makes perfect?"

"Hmm..."

It was getting stupid.... Why was she not lashing out at him? Did she not know yet? Was he screwing up things again?

"You met Rajeev yesterday?"

Atlast....

"Yes"

"Where?"

"Here"

"Here?.... When"

"I came over to meet you and then saw him outside.... You weren't home then... He was waiting too"

"So.... You told him that we were going to get engaged?"

Was it going to be this simple? He breathed out.....

"Yes... I mean...," he stopped.... What was he going to say?

"Yes... What do you mean?"

"Shriya... Look... He told me that he was going to ...."

"Going to marry me?" She was still at the rotis, concentration on her face.....

"No... Well... "

She looked up at him and stopped her work....

"Go on, Krish"

He caught his breath... There was something different about her now... Something that exuded anger....

"Might marry you"

"And you told him that it was stupid because we were going to marry each other right? Hell!"

It would have hurt him less had she shouted at him... Called him names...

It came out too slow and in a quiveringly low pitch....

It was just then that he understood that she was just like him when it came to anger... Low, well versed sarcasm... that could spew venom....

It was going to be tough.... Maybe time to tackle it straight....

"I just don't realize how you agreed to marry that jerk," It was a mock... Meant to accuse her....

"He isn't a jerk... He is one of the most successful young lawyers here... And in case you don't know... he was in love with me"

It hurt....

"I did not know that until today... Did not even know that they had planned it all... I wasn't told a word... They meant it to be a surprise"

His snigger faded... It had backfired.....

"And well now that you know it all... Just go ahead and marry him...."

"After the drama you staged? What will I tell anyone now"

"Tell them I was joking"

"What are you going to tell me Krish?"

"I was joking"

"What a smashing sense of humor"

"Yea I know"

"No you don't....... You just don't understand what you landed me into... They all are going to be waiting... "

"Waiting? For what? For you to marry that jerk?"

"No .... Waiting for an engagement that will never happen.... Waiting to look at someone who will never be there.... Waiting and watching"

He was quiet....

"Tell them that you are not ready yet"

"Why the hell should I tell them lies?"

"Look I am sorry"

"So much to get this out of you.... Know what... You are the jerk... Not him"

Maybe it was anger that rendered him speechless...

"Just two days back you asked me to get lost... Give me a chance... I will.... "

"Meaning?"

"I will get lost Krish... Just as you wanted..... Out of this place... This rat hole of a city.... Jerks like you"

"Shriya...."

"No... Don't say a word.... I have had enough... More than that"

"Shriya you have a job here... a career"

"No more... I resigned today"

"What!?"

She calmed... out of sheer frustration....

"I wanted to come over and search for you and yell at you... Just get the anger out of my system... But I decided something Krish.... I don't want to tell you this.... But I have to say it out now... Get out if you do not want to hear it"

He was quiet... rooted....

"I have had enough... Strange place... Damn lonely... Hateful days and nights... And now they think that they can get me alliances... Crap... Am not someone who is hunting out guys... I... I have just liked one person throughout... And...."

She coughed... And continued....

"It has been you... For ever till now...."

He knew it was coming... He knew he should move over and hold her.... Just to tell her it was the same with him....

She sat down at one of the metal chairs nearby.... And spoke silently...

"I just realized am nothing to you Krish"

"No Shriya.... You got it all...."

"Wrong?.... I know... Maybe I am someone whom you can play around with... A forgotten old classmate..."

He was quiet...

"And maybe someday you will invite me over to your marriage with her... Preetha or whatever... and being the good old silly soul that I am, I will come over and wish you... over my silent tears"

"Preetha? And Me....?... What crap"

"Whoever... Preetha...Rithi.... I don't care"

"You got it all wrong...."

"Yes.... I got everything wrong.... Now just let me do the right things then"

"Shriya... Listen...."

"Let me go"

"Shriya...."

"Get out Krish...."

It was one of those moments when there could be nothing done with reasoning... without solid proofs....

He tried... A last time...

"Shriya... Please... Let me say what I want....."

"Out, Krish... Get out of this place...."

He walked out... As he crossed the hall to get to the door, he saw the empty photo frame on the couch... The photo was nowhere to be seen....

She locked the door behind him... And collapsed on the couch... It was then that she started crying....

A Shock

2007-08-25T19:29:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 52
Shriya was stunned.....

"Am really sorry Shriya... I did not expect it... Actually I did not believe Rajeev initially, but then it was when he reasoned out with me that I accepted... It was silly of me to try and fix you two without asking you...But you were like just right for Rajeev and he really liked you... Guess we need to back out now....," he sighed... "gracefully."

It wasn't making sense.... Shriya stepped out of Eashwar's cabin...

On her way back to her desk, she bumped into Rajeev....

"Hai... Shriya.... sorry .... I met Krish yesterday...."

"What? I don't....."

"He told me everything.... Congrats again"

"Everything? He told you just what Rajeev?"

"He told me that you were getting engaged yaar.... Congrats.... What's the guy doing by the way?... Just curious...."

"Krish told you.... Hey... I am taking half a day off.....," she yelled out to a colleague.... "Bye Rajeev"

The steps blurred.... It was chaotic... Her mind....

She stood in the street....

His home, His office, On the roads....

Now where the hell was she to head in search of him?

Cupids and Roses

2007-08-25T08:11:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 51

It would be far better to get to work and stay there the whole day.... maybe the whole night.... maybe forever....

Just to escape from his guilt trap....

Just to escape the chance of meeting her sooner than he was prepared for....

He knew he had screwed it up... Big time...

Krish sighed.... He planned the day.... He would get to work... spend the day there, start early and drive around.... and meet her....

Maybe at her apartment.... safer than in public..... And it would be a surprise visit.... He did not even have her number yet.... No possibility of informing....

He was at his desk earlier than usual.... There was some animation stuff to be done... He was filling up for a friend who was on some emergency leave ... He looked through it...

Some regional movie... and a duet between the lead pair...

He groaned... They wanted cupids shooting arrows every time the lead pair hugged each other... And that was one time too many.... And then some roses falling down on them... Some kind of grace!

What stupid ideas! If film producers and directors could ever get some sense in their heads!

He set about making the cupids fly around.... He had already created them the previous day.. Now all he had to do was set targets...

"Krish? So early? Already working?"
It was Shashank... his sub...

"Hey... Yes... Was up early today.... Did not have anything better to do... Though I would not call this stuff that am in for now as anything glorious"

"Yea, it's the movie rite? You should see the other scenes... fights, especially... What kind of stunts they wanted.... I would never in a day get out to watch it.... You wanna look through them?"

"Spare me.... Tell me... However did Faisal ever do this stuff.... A day into it and I hate it already... No I detest it"

"He must have hit the bottom... No wonder he took off... Heard he is on vacation... No kind of emergency... You know... He faked up an excuse"

"And left me with this stuff...."

"You know what Krish? I don't think they will be very pleased with that now"

"Hmm? Which?..... Oh... ," he laughed loud... A particular cupid was aiming its arrows at the hero's rear.... To which the guy was dancing undisturbed....

"Trust computers to get crazy"

"Hey it does look good man... Saving grace, I would say"

"Yea... But well.... I better change it... Though it's against my will...."

He set about straightening the coordinates of travel for that cupid....

"Why do these kind of movies choose rhyming names for the lead pair?"

"What?, " he was now concentrating, the mouse moving about the screen setting up right shades of colors and hues....

"No... I mean... The heroine is to be called Raji... and the guy Rajeev.... I guess they all are at creativity's end.... Guess I must get back now... Have a nice time man... Maybe now you can try aiming the arrow up front.... Through his heart... Would look nice..."

"The guy is called what?"

Shashank had just walked out...

The mouse moved over the screen... Sharpening down the arrow head till it glistened with wickedness...

Krish set the song in rewind... with the animation partly finished....

Maybe now the computer would go crazy again... with the arrow finding its way back at "Rajeev's" rear.....

Together? Or Not?

2007-08-24T21:40:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 50

There was no one around.... The cold night air bit into her very self... She shivered against her will....
He was standing by her... His face turned away....

"And what the hell were you thinking?... Telling Rajeev that we were engaged? Great joke"

"What was wrong with that?"

When Shriya looked up at him, he was staring at the stars, the moonlight reflected in his eyes and her face....

"You said?"

"Maybe we will get engaged"

"Krish?," it was a whisper....

He took her hand in his.... It was warm....

She shuddered.... "Krish"

He moved closer.... There was a silence between them... The road was lonely... It was like an ethereal barrier was cast around them then that protected the moment from any intrusion ever possible.....

"No..... Leave me.... Let me go.... Please"

"Say not a word Shriya"

It was a tentative hug.... They broke away from each other almost immediately...

Their eyes never left each other.....

"Let me drop you home"

She did not refuse now.... It did not seem to matter....

It was just then that Krish heard his grandmother calling out to him to wake up......

Dreams were frustrating?

Yes.... They were.... Because they weren't real..........

Lies

2007-08-21T08:28:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 49

He was hesitant...

It was evening, and a gloomy one at that... Bangalore evenings were always silly... They seemed to cooperate a lot with his moods... instead of cheering him up, today it was all adding to the general idea of futility.....

Of course, Krish could not expect her to welcome him in with cheer....

Not after his downright cheap dismissal of her yesterday....

He was into the lift... and with growing doubt he pressed the button....

Up to the twentieth floor.... He was in the open circular common corridor there between the two houses.... The one to his right was hers....

He stopped.... Someone was leaning over the rails there... looking down....

The man turned... He must have been Krish's age.. somewhere in his mid twenties...Handsome in a scholarly way, tall and of wheatish complexion......

Krish ignored him and went up to the door.... It was locked... She wasn't back yet....

"You waiting for Shriya? Me too"

Krish stared.... Could the guy be her brother? Not that she had one....

"Yes...."

"I think she will be here in a few minutes.... It's about time anyway"

"You are her cousin?"

The man laughed... A deep throaty sound....

"No man.... Am a friend of her's... Supposed to be...."

"So am I"

"No... You see... Well.... Let me tell you... But you must keep it to yourself"

This sounded plain kiddish..... Krish suppressed a laugh.... He nodded, a smile spreading on his face....

"I am a nephew of Mr. Eashwar Iyer.... Know him?"

"No..."

"He is a partner of the firm"

"Oh.... You mean he is a lawyer"

"Yes.... obviously.... I am one too"

"Fine... And you are here to meet her"

"That is because he wants me to marry her......., " he laughed...

The smile froze on Krish's lips....

"Am here to meet her for that.... You know... Just introduce myself and talk to her.... If I like her and she likes me...."

"Actually we are going to be engaged"

The man stood still... "What?"

"Yes."

"We did not know this... I mean... It's embarrassing"

"Well... Now you know... So it's good right?"

"Er, Yes.... Sorry... And congrats... I guess I will apologize to Shriya tomorrow"

"You don't need to.... And thanks"

"I guess I will leave"

"You never gave me your name"

"Oh... sorry... I am Rajeev... And you are?"

"Krish"

"Fine... Krish... nice meeting you.... see you again sometime man"

Krish watched the lift close behind Rajeev...

If anything, what he had just done was plain crazy... and evil....

He wanted to leave the place... He could meet Shriya tomorrow....

Not today, with guilt and trickery writ bold on his face...

His car left the place a long time before Shriya entered her flat, tired after a particularly hectic day.... A sense of permanent sadness adorning her.....

Emotions

2007-08-13T17:11:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 48

Even when the silence broke, they were unaware of it....

The girl in chiffon nudged Shriya.... Kamala was asking her something....

"Have you met Krish before?"

It was Krish who answered....

"We were schoolmates....."

Kamala looked confused.... She turned to Shriya... "But you did not tell me you knew him when you saw the photo"

"I did not recognize," Shriya was wishing Krish would look elsewhere... anywhere.... His eyes were boring into her....

"You mean you did not recognize me?... Maybe you should take something to help your memory, we just met last month"

"No... I mean... I thought it might be you..."

"Oh... You could have asked my gran... She would not minded that question.... Might be you thought she will"

People were staring....

"No... Look, I was not very sure... And I thought I will ask later...."

"I guess you did not even recognize my mother"

She had forgotten about that.....

"I did.... Even spoke to her"

"I think she too was in the photo.... You saw me, her and Aakash and still maybe you did not recognize which family this might be"

"I did not take a very good look.... And when I saw your mother, I knew"

"Knew what? That you were indeed in my house?.... And ......."

"That's enough Krish.... Get in now.... You look like you are tired"

He gave a mock laugh and went in....

She was happy it was over... She knew she had something in her hand... some kind of customary take away articles that they give at Dussera time....
Gauri was right next to her, trying to keep pace with her as she hurried out the door....

"Shriya... Wait... I will have you dropped back home.... Its late enough"

"No... please... Its fine... We will take an auto"

"Maybe you will forget your way back home.... Or maybe you will not be very clear about it....,"Krish was standing by the door, hands folded across his chest, with that mock tone breaking through that cold air.....

"I will not, and anyway Gauri is with me"

"Really?.... And Hi Gauri.... We met... remember?"

"Of course"

It was not the moment to be puzzled over this... Shriya was getting apprehensive....

"So do you always have this kind of weakness Shriya?" He pronounced her name with a careful snigger.

"Weakness?," she was flaring up, "It just happened"

"Yeah... And does it always "just happen" ?

"My grandson is trying to be funny," It was Kamala's turn to be embarrassed....

"No.... Am just trying to be polite"

"We are getting late"

"And you know to read time? Or do you confuse time zones and ....."

"That's enough Krish... Anyone who doesn't know you will think that you are drunk"

"We really need to be going... Thanks a lot for today."

"Yes.... And no problem dear.... Krish can drop you two and another of Preetha's friend"

It was no use protesting.... Before she knew it, Gauri and Sandhya, Preetha's friend, were seated in the back seat....

She sat next to the driver seat.... Next to Krish.... Not a word was uttered after that...

Ominously, It was like all four of them were strangers, and no one bothered to break the silence....

It was evident that even Gauri realized that something was wrong....

It was after the other two got down that Shriya panicked...

He had stopped by her apartment gate and was waiting for her to get down... staring straight ahead with his eyes fixed on the road.....

"You had to do it right?"

"What?"

"You had to insult me that way.... In front of everyone.... "

"Insult?"

"Even more than that... You made me feel down right ashamed"

"Really?"

"Don't answer my questions with questions"

"Look.... Am having enough of all this"

"It wasn't me who started anyway"

"I guess not... After all, all you did was give us the least respect by pretending we were all strangers"

"I really did not know it was your grandmother"

"And you do not know me too"

She was silent...."I wish I did not"

"No wishing.... Its simple.... Get Lost"

She was out of the car when she heard him say it...

He was gone before she walked down to her gate...

The watchman stood puzzled as he saw the girl enter and walk on in a daze... tears streaming down her face.... She did not even bother to wipe them away....

He shrugged and walked around the apartment at his usual slow sluggish pace.....

When destiny smiles...

2007-08-12T18:52:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 47

She was dressed in a simple pink saree.... The white glassy crystals added more to a dressed down effect.... They were nothing flashy.... After all, all her dresses were anything but flashy...

Shriya waited at her apartment... Gauri would be there any moment.... She wished that this was something she didn't have to be doing.... She was still apprehensive about the invite..... I

It was sometime before she and Gauri could reach the temple.... Shriya even hoped on the way that the woman would have forgotten all about them and would not be there....

Bad.... She was waiting in the temple.... And she smiled when she saw them there...

"Sorry, we are late"

"Doesn't matter... I just arrived here myself. Shall we go?"

"Yes," Gauri interjected.... Shriya was quiet.

The drive to wherever they were going was filled with animated chatter from Gauri... The old lady was all smiles and talk... and Shriya was quiet throughout, looking out through the car windows, her thoughts far away enough to not catch onto whatever was happening...

She realized they were in Jayanagar, just as the car took a turn into a side avenue....

They were soon inside the gates of what Gauri would later describe as a "simply stunning house".

There must have been a lot of people invited, for the driveway was right then accommodating a half dozen cars....

They followed the woman in....

"Hey, I want to walk right away from here.... Gauri, please am feeling real nervous"

"Nervous? You are supposed to be a lawyer... and nervousness shouldn't be defined in you"

"Stop it.... Whatever... Make the whole thing short.... Let's get out of here as soon as we can"

Gauri's reply was lost on Shriya.... She was staring fixed at the enormous family portrait that adorned half the wall in the living room....

Mrs. Shanker was smiling benignly out of it.... With the old woman seated in the middle... flanked by Parvathi and her husband....

Shriya did not rise her eyes to look at the two men standing behind them... She was beyond shivering now.... beyond normality..... If anything, this was the extreme end....

"Shriya?"

The old woman was looking at her strangely..... Shriya was staring at her in a new light.... In a daze....

"That's my family.... We took that photo around three years back when Aakash wasn't married... He is my older grandson.... Krish is the younger one"

Shriya did not know whether to tell her that she knew them... Knew one of them more than she cared to reveal...

She just nodded....

She was led into the inner hall, and stopped near the door, the lights in there blinding her.... The whole place was lit up brilliantly, with yellow lights... and colored lights reserved for the corners....
There were more people in there than Shriya had imagined would be...

She thought she saw Gauri somewhere... And headed there....

"Shriya! Where did you go?"

"I should ask you that ..... Why did you leave me alone out there?"

"Sorry... But you see, I was introduced to Aarthi, she is the daughter in law of this family, and was talking with her.... "

"Great, now come on... Lets finish up with this and go.... Gauri, am really feeling....."

Someone touched her shoulder... Shriya turned around.... It was Parvathi....

"Shriya? .... Isn't it? What a surprise.... How are you?"

"Fine... I was invited over here by..."

"I know, child.... she told me... Nice of you to come over... Wonder where Krish is...."

No... tell me he is not home.....

"He has gone over to a friend's place... I guess he won't be returning for now"

The Gods are real happy with me... Thanks!

"Come over... Sit here....," She showed Shriya a couch by the wall.... Shriya pulled Gauri over next to her....

They were hardly seated before Parvathi left the place to attend to someone else....

"You know her?"

"Yes.... She was once a teacher of mine... Long back...."

"Great... Now I guess you feel comfortable..."

"Very".... So comfortable that I want to race out of here... Maybe perform magic and disappear... Wonder what spell I can use.....

She did not have more than a minute to think up anything... Someone offered juice.... Shriya smiled at the girl....

"Hi... you must be the lawyer...."

"Yes... How do you know?"

"I was told.... I am Preetha... Aarthi's sister.... Did you meet Aarthi?"

"No..."

"Oh.... I will be back... I wanted to talk to you"

It was her.... Krish's future fiancee....

Maybe this is where I make an escape.... Or maybe I can stay back and ask her what she wanted to talk to me.... About legal issues concerning the Hindu Marriage Act?

She set the glass down.. Gauri was talking about how the couch would look perfect in some politicians public relations office..... "Made of that formality right?"

"Hmm"

"They are calling us..."

Shriya got up with Gauri... They sat down with the other ladies near the doll stand... It was a massive arrangement with more than a hundred dolls spread over 15 steps...

It painfully reminded Shriya about the celebrations back home.... She had always been there to decorate... and this year she couldn't....
She remembered telling her mother about this invite in the morning.... Her mother had said she could go.... but her asked her to be extra careful with strangers....

And she realized that they were all, after all more like strangers.....
Except the one who wasn't there...

Many of them were singing and she noticed Gauri making an attempt to sing... Shriya couldn't help laughing...

Gauri had this base tone and sounded odd among the high pitched others....

Gauri caught her eyes and blushed... Shriya smiled broader and shifted her eyes......

The door from the living room opened and someone walked in.....

Shriya stiffened.... The smile died on her lips... She bent down and crouched behind a girl dressed in golden chiffon.....
And hoped that he would walk away.....

Krish hardly looked at the group of females.... He walked down the wide hall... Shriya realized that he had entered just to cross over to the set of rooms at the other end....

The song ended.... Krish was almost gone....

"Shriya why don't you sing?"

Krish froze.... So did Shriya....

He turned around and looked at the group.... And their stares caught across the space between them....

It was like the wide gap was closed shut in it... And time and space held out muted cries of defeat.....

Everyone was staring at the two... And they were oblivious to it all....

The Gods and Goddesses were standing testimony to something that had been long pending.... It was like they were smiling from the stands.....

A Hope a day.......

2007-08-11T22:28:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 46

Needless to say, the atmosphere at the Shanker household was negatively charged.... There was a prevalent silence, and not even the effervescent Aakash tried to break it....

Preetha and Aarthi hardly spoke to each other.... When they did, it was not about anything that had something to do with themselves....

Krish was almost absent from the house.... He told no one where he was going or when he would return...

Only his grandmother was given the privilege of his confessions.... She said nothing when he told her he spent his free hours at Cubbon Park.... walking along or simply relaxing...

And staying away from a potential dynamo that was his home....

It was Mrs. Shanker who was the epicenter of this.... She had realized that Aarthi's idea of having her sister over in the household had something more to it, than the mere excuse of her staying with family.....
And Parvathi was more worried than she cared to show.... She kept a constant watch over Krish and made sure Preetha was well away from him.... all through the day....

With all the toys dusted and placed in their shelves and stands, what remained unsettled in the household was peace, and everyone there was secretly hoping that soon things would fall right....

Except Krish, he was hoping for elves... and angels.....

Time For Celebration

2007-08-06T22:10:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 45

September was fading away... but in the hue and color that was always so resplendent of it....

Dussera time....

The market was all crowded.... Gauri was shopping hard.... Color streamers and electric lights and the ubiquitous dolls...

"Hey, hand that over to me... I am just carrying my handbag and can help you with that," Shriya nudged her... "Am anyway getting bored of tagging along watching you shop shop shop.... Come on Gauri, I want to have a strong cup of...."

"Coffee.... I know.... Heard that a million times at the cafe,"she laughed...."Here... Hold this .... And yes.... next stop will be that corner coffee outlet fine?"

"Thank you, honor!"

The two of them laughed their way across the road....

And then Shriya slowed....

It was the same old woman she had met in the temple, almost a month back.... She was walking towards them, a smile lighting up her face....

"Are you Tamizh?"

"Yes...."

"I thought so.... Remember me? We met at the temple...."

"Met" was a rather elaborate usage.... "Saw" would have been better......

"Yes... I remember...."

"I wanted to ask your name then... Bangalore isn't the place where you find girls dressed up decently and praying at temples.... girls your age....."

Shriya laughed... So did Gauri, who was listening in with growing interest....

"I am Shriya... And this is my friend Gauri"

"You settled here?"

"No...ma'am.... I work here... Am a lawyer... at a private firm... Living alone.... Hometown is Chennai"

"No formal stuff now... We are tamizh too.... Well... We celebrate dussera the usual tamizh way... And would like to have girls like you over.... Would you two drop in tomorrow?"

Gauri looked at Shriya....

"I have a client meet tomorrow.....," Shriya was wondering how she could ever refuse this woman....

"We will come the next day...., " quipped Gauri, even as Shriya looked at her with reproach....

"Fine.... You two come over to the temple... I will have you home from there...."

This surprised Shriya more than she could believe....

They wished her a respectful goodbye....

They did not speak about it till they were settled with their coffee in the cafe....

"Gauri... Isn't it ...."

"Strange? Of course it is.... I mean she walks up to you and calls you home for a festival celebration? Of course... Dussera is all about socializing.... but with a complete stranger? Even if it is one who looks docile.."

"Yes... And also...."

"She offers to pick us up and take us to her place.... When we could very well have found our way had she given us the address.... Why are you quiet now?"

"Because you are saying whatever I wanted to"

"Fine... Now you say it all over again....."

"Oh... Gauri.... Please.... Its strange..... And I feel real awkward"

"Well... We will go and see what it is all about"

As they left the place and walked back, all that occupied Shriya's mind was the woman's smile and her familiarity....

And of course.... The weirdness of it all...

Smiles exchanged

2007-08-05T21:52:00.001+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 44

Strange things happen....

There is no reason as to why certain people extract certain reactions from us at certain times... They just do....

And it is these that make us all believe in miracles....

It was by chance that Shriya met her in the temple... A frail old lady with short hair.... primed and all white.... And the simple cotton saree was draped in the most prudent manner around her slim limbs...

She was all alone... And seemed to be a regular to the temple....

When their eyes met, Shriya gave a shy smile... There was something commanding in the woman's eyes.... yet when she smiled back, she looked distinctly familiar... and elegant....

That was all... It was their first meeting.... A few seconds....

But then, it was a start... And a silent one at that....

And yet as Kamala returned home, she could not ignore the nag in her heart that there was something strange that had happened in the temple....

And she was sure it had something to do with the girl...

She pushed away the thought as Krish smiled at her as she entered his room... He was looking tired.... And Kamala knew that the tea she had made for him would cheer up her grandson.....

Manners withheld

2007-08-05T20:15:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 43

Dreary day....

The pain was bearable.... and Shriya did not want to let it stop her routine....

Back home.... She tried to cook herself a decent dinner.... She was feeling unusually hungry even with the headache....

She ate a lonely meal standing by the kitchen table... looking out through the window at the black sky.... It was getting cold....

It was still early and she could do with a walk... She took a different route and walked on at a slow pace...

It was a still night, with not even a rustle from the trees on the sidewalk... The avenues and cross streets were all deserted.... The houses had bright lights shining through the windows.... They made her feel an extra shade lonelier....

She decided to buy some aspirin... and walked up to the small pharmacy at a turning a couple of streets away from her residence.... Maybe a whole strip would last the rest of the month....

"Shriya...."

Shriya turned around, it was Krish.... standing by his car...

"Hi"

"How are you? Pharmacy?.... Ill?"

"Not really.... Just a headache...," she sighed... "How are you anyway? What are you doing here?"
The last line came out harsher than she had intended.... If he was hurt, his eyes did not reveal it....

"Fine... I was returning home... And stopped when I saw you enter that shop.... " he pointed at the pharmacy....

"I had just taken a walk around...."

"Felt lonely?"

She had hoped that she would not have to have Krish ask such things.... But the question was hanging there between them...

"Yes... lonely... But then I think I don't mind"

"Maybe you should drop home sometime Shriya... Mom would like to have you there.... She told me she met you in the airport a few months back...."

"Drop by?... yea sure... someday...." And yes, I will meet that future fiancee of yours and have a ball of a time planning how your reception can be held...

"You sound like you don't want to.... Look what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong... Am feeling real tired today.... I don't want to be standing here and trying to make conversation"

He looked at her for a long time...

"Shall I drop you home?"

"No...."

"I live in Jayanagar..... 8th block, 36th cross... 14...."

"I got to be going now... "

"Meet you later then... "

She just turned and walked away... Hugging the sleeves of her sweater around her... She looked back when she was near the corner....

He was still standing there hands folded across his chest.... looking at her....

She turned the corner and walked out of sight......

Morning Blues

2007-07-31T19:32:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 42

It was not yet even proper morning....

The house was still dark as Shradha worked her way around the kitchen.

Hemanth would be up any moment.... He always wanted his coffee hot and fragrant, right after he woke up and she still had to boil the milk...

She moved the bright blue curtains aside... and the morning sunlight streamed in.... The grills of the window made a faint shadow on the kitchen table....

The phone rang.....

It made her squeal..... In that early morning soft silence, the dull shrillness of the phone seemed to make a horrid noise....

She picked it up.... hoping everything was fine....

"Shradha.... Good morning.....," Shriya sounded hesitant...

"Shriya.....!.... My! What happened?.... so early in the morning!"

"Shradha... I have something to tell you...."

"Hmm..."

"Tell me when you will be free.... I will call you...."

"Am free now... go on.... What happened Shri?"

"Shradz.... Yesterday was the most weird day I have ever lived through...."

"Anything went wrong?"

"Everything went wrong"

Just then Hemanth entered the kitchen.... He saw Shradha standing by the wall phone... Concern etched on her face....

"Some problem?"

"Nothing Hemanth.... Make yourself coffee...."

"Sure.... Will make some for you too"

Shradha turned back to the phone.....

"What happened Shri.... hey, are you crying?"

"No... er... am fine.... I met Krish yesterday.... When I went to donate blood...."

"That's supposed to be great news...."

"No... Wait till you hear it all...."

Once she had started, it was difficult to stop the words... Shradha grew quieter with each word Shriya spoke....

As she finished, Shradha spoke....

"I did not want to tell you something till it was time... Felt should not worry you extra... Anyway... I met Preetha.... she is the girl Krish was supposed to bring to the camp.... "

"How...."

"She was interning at Hemanth's branch here at Chennai... Then got transferred to Bangalore... She is staying at Krish's house, Shri.... And...."

"And....?"

"She told me that her sister was planning to marry her off to Krish... Though she did not seem very easy with the idea...."

There was a heaviness in Shriya's voice as she spoke.... "It's all for good Shradz.... After yesterday, am sure Krish thinks am a stupid nut.... Very immature of me to carry along that photo everywhere....."

"Shri...."

"No Shradz... To me it may mean a lot.... To him it would have seemed real silly.... school girlish..."

"Maybe... But am sure he will realize what that meant... "

"Yes, that I am crappy mad about him..... Actually, its a huge laugh... Don't you feel like laughing? I do...."

"Shri... please... Stop this..."

"Fine... I will.... I anyway need to get ready... Will be running late else...."

"Hmm.... Whatever you do... remember it is all going to be fine Shri..."

"Very fine... It is going to be real fine....,"she laughed "Tell Hemanth a hi from me... And tell him that I am sorry I spoiled his proper cup of coffee right in the morning.... I know how that feels...."

"Sure Shri.... And am sure he won't mind..."

"Thanks Shradz.... I don't know...."

"Oh... Stop it now... Have a great day..."

"You too...."

Shradha kept the phone back on the hook..... She returned to the table where Hemanth was waiting for her with a quizzical look and a steaming hot cup of coffee....

"Tell me Hemanth... Why the hell are you guys this insensible?"

A Premonition Felt

2007-07-30T22:28:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 41

Shriya woke up the next morning with a premonition....

There was something that was going to go wrong....

She moaned.... Yesterday had been a real nightmare.... And she wondered how things could go more awkward than that....

Krish.... She felt hot tears threaten their way out of her eyes.... Why should she have met him.... And why should he have been that nice to her....

It almost made her forget that he had been with Rithi that day....

He had been a mere friend to Shriya... And she had spoiled everything.... With that single photo...

She took up the frame.... It weighed heavy in her hand....

She wondered why she had wanted to frame it when she shifted over here... it had always lain hidden in some book of hers before that....

Maybe that gave her a sense of security....

Like Krish being there..... She remembered the long ago days in school....

Some remained closer to her.... She had been scared of him.... but always, with her fears withstanding, there had been that sense of being protected when he was near...

Like he was always there for her.... To protect her.... Though he had remained far far away in reality....

Till yesterday...

And that closeness had shocked her into numbness....

She called up Shradha..... In that early morning, the ringing of Shradha's phone on the other side, brought unwarranted tears to Shriya's troubled eyes.......

Dear Diary,

2007-07-29T21:47:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 40

I met her.....
A real beautiful day.... Something that I will carry on with me....

Maybe I should leave it at that.... And move on....
Not hurt her anymore....

It makes me wonder if by being there I give her more pain than by being absent from her life....
And I don't have the guts to ask her the answer.... yet....

It was a simple thing... She was there to donate blood.... I am sure that she would have been fine had she not come across me....
Stupid me actually. I really couldn't pass by her without speaking to her.... It was all I was waiting for anyway... all these days.... you know.....

Just like that... I unnerved her... She seemed damn scared.... and nervous... of me....

That is what makes me wonder... She hasn't changed a bit....

And she has a secret.... That scared me....

The photo... I rather liked myself in it.... Nice snap....

And it is me.... Just me whom she likes... even now... almost a decade later....

No one else..... And I haven't seen another girl who would be this scared to face the one she likes.... Every one else would be only too excited....

Maybe thats what makes Shriya special.... When I see her get that nervous, the pain of her not trusting me enough, makes me wince within....

And today I couldn't help notice the fear in her eyes... And also the smile in them...

I just hope she isn't as confused of her feelings as I am.....

Too many times today I wanted to take hold of her.... And tell her that everything was fine... more fine then she thought.... that I too loved her....

It shocks me too.... Maybe I shouldn't tell her.... Maybe I should wait a bit... Till she really gets used to me....

But, I don't want to meet her next time unless am sure that she will be fine at the end of the day....

Not like what was today.... I know she could have been pretty fine without me.... I messed it up.....

And she lives alone... I had this urge tonight that I should maybe go over to her place and see that she is all fine.... But I know that it is silly... really....

I love her...

She has changed me in ways that I can't fathom.... Changed me without even being there in real...

Someday I will tell her that I always knew that I had met her before... And ask her when....

A long time before........

Goodnight.... I just hope I have no dreams tonight..... Anything else that jabs me and I will be finding myself ringing her doorbell in the dead of the night....

Krish

Know Me Not....

2007-07-28T21:28:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 39

There was something in his eyes that night ..... Tears?

The answer was "almost never" when it came to the question of how many times Krish had shed tears....

Maybe over a painful hurt in childhood... Maybe due to the harsh words of a friend then.... Maybe due to death of someone close....

But today was different....

It was over the ignorance of love.... A love more pure than he had thought.... Something that refused to succumb to time and space and forever....

Love that had been refused all along.....

A tap on his door.... He did not open it....

"Who is it?"

She answered from behind the closed door....
"Me... Krish.... Preetha"

"What?"

"Sorry about today... Aunty told me you could not stand the smell of blood...."

He was getting irritated... He had forgotten the quarrel and was sullen about the information his mother had passed on to her....

"It's fine... I did not mind much"

"But I really wanted to ...."

"You can go Preetha"

He was thinking about that photo... And her voice as she had called out his name.... Her eyes.... And the way he had held her that evening.... And her shying away in the car....

"Shriya.... Don't get close to me...."

Realizations...

2007-07-28T09:01:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 38

She looked around that cream papered room.....

And down at the bed...

She was in a hospital....

A nurse entered just then... She smiled a formal well-practiced smile at Shriya....

"What am I doing here? What happened...."

"You had fainted... Someone brought you here.... We had to give you blood transfusion..."

Shriya looked at her left hand... The butterfly injection was still there.... The nurse removed it and plastered up the skin...

"Who? Who brought me here?"

"Some friend I think.... He is down paying up..."

Just then Krish entered... He was beaming down at her....

It was all she could do to hold down her shame....

"Krish... Not fair... Stupid of me... Fainting and...," She stopped as she looked at the plaster on his hand....

"You donated blood?"

"Well... They found that you and me are the same group..."

"What the hell"

"Yae... hell...," he laughed...."But then it wasn't that bad after all "

"No...," she could not get the words out...

Krish saw the tears in her eyes... "Lets get out of this place.... "

"I..."

He helped her out of the bed...

He held her close until they were in the car... Maybe that was why she was shivering badly....

She was too weak to protest...Somehow, it all looked wrong....

"Where is your place?"

"No... See I can take an auto or..."

"Where?"

"Benson town.... 3rd main..."

They were soon on the way...

She closed her eyes as she leaned back on the seat....

It all came flooding back...

Being scared of him... moving away... walking up near his class and suddenly turning back half way....

Blushing when she heard his voice....

And all those days spent thinking about him afterwards....

And when he was here.... She could not respond in any decent way.... And he had done so much.... Spent half his day tagging along with her... Driving her around.... Paying for her...

And donating blood.... Just for her.....

For her....

She hoped that it would stop at this... Already she owed him too much.. Taken so much from him...

It made her feel ashamed... The tears were forming again... Tears of shame and awkwardness.....

"Which apartment?"

"That one..."

He parked in the alloted space...

"Come up..."

She wasn't going to have him help her again.. She walked up to the lift...

Up 20 floors...

He was standing right behind her... She struggled with the door...

She walked in... She had been right...

The house was in a total mess....

He was going to think that she was as unorganized as anyone could possibly get...

"Please sit down..."

"Nice place you got in here...."

"Oh.. yes.... The point is that I don't overwork myself trying to keep it mess-free"

"I can see that... "

"Bad... I hoped you would not..."

He smiled... but it was a strange smile..."It looks like a home.... "

"Er... What else could it be?"

"It could have been a well maintained house... But it is a home"

"You have a way of dishing out the good with the bad"

"And you have a way of being extremely naive..."

She looked at him... That was when she noticed that he was closer... No more seated.... And had an absolutely strange expression...

"Coffee?"

He nodded....

"You like it with sugar?"

"I don't like coffee much... it doesn't matter..."

"Oh.. tea then?"

"No coffee..."

"Sure? I will make tea if you want..."

"No..."

She busied herself with making it... He stood by the kitchen door staring at her.....

She wished he would not... It was sending tingles up her spine....

"Shriya..."

"Yes?"

"You alright?"

"Of course...."

"Don't donate again if you can't handle it..."

"Handle it?," she was angry..."I have always been fine..."

"No... I don't know... But take someone along if you want a share of martyrdom"

"So are you.... a "martyr" in your words...."

"Me donating was not out of service... They had to call up the blood bank and I couldn't have them give you someone else's blood when I was there,,,,"

"Don't be silly .... And here is your coffee"

"Thanks..."

"Like it?"

"No...."

"What?.. Sorry...... I will make you tea..."

He laughed.... "Was joking... It is great"

She looked doubtful.....

They finished the drink standing in the kitchen... She washed up the cups and cleaned the place...

"You live all alone?"

"Yes...."

"So? Law?"

"Yes... And loving it.... What do you do?"

"Animation industry.... I work a street away from here"

"What!... great!"

"Maybe..."

She stood there looking at a spot beyond his shoulder... He turned away to walk back into the living room...

And stopped in his tracks.... Shriya walked up to see what he was looking at...

She could have almost cried out....

Her room was next to the kitchen and her worktable was visible from where they stood....

And she had forgotten all about that framed photo of his that she always had had... A photo that she had asked her friend to sneak up... Some school function.... And they had clicked when he wasn't looking....

He was smiling unassumingly from the photo....

Slowly Krish turned around.... And looked at her....

She could not face him... The whole act of I-just-know-you-as-a-schoolmate was over....

"I got to leave now.... Tare care...."

There was nothing she could say now that could sound sensible....

She nodded.... He moved into the hall and opened the door.... He hesitated.... but did not turn back...

He went up to the lift and pressed the button....

Shriya was standing by her door.... Sometimes, shame and fear give courage...

"Kri...Krish...."

He turned...

"Am sorry...., " The lift opened..."For ... for everything"

He nodded and got in.... The solid steel doors shut behind him.....

He was gone into the night.....

She moved slowly into her living room and shut the front door close.... There were no tears in her eyes....

She was numb.... And frozen... With his blood warm within her....

She was still wondering why he did not smile before he left....

Rail road and Tracks....

2007-07-27T23:51:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 37

She was not making any conversation.... She sat huddled up in the seat as far away as she could from him...

Leaning on the window... And gripping the seat belt...

Krish wished he had had the sense to go with her in the bus... She was feeling nervous within the car... alone with him... and too near....

The fact was that even he was feeling nervous... He hoped he drove better than he had ever driven before... Not worth taking a risk with her next to him...

Next to him.... The phrase sounded nice....

They were together... It sounded better.....

"So where?"

Shriya hesitated....

She did not want to ask him home that day.... Her house was in a mess... And ... Being in a car on the crowded city roads was bad enough and being in a home within four solid walls would be worse... Even if it was for a few minutes......

"Cantonment Station... My apartment is on the other side... A few avenues apart..."

"You want me to leave you there?"

"Yes...."

Her hand was aching by now... She hugged herself...

Krish noticed and was quiet.... He did not want to press her to allow him to leave her home.... She looked shaken enough already...

They reached sooner than he had hoped for... To her it seemed like the longest ride she had ever taken in her life....

He parked the car in the parking lot of the station...

She got out before he came round to help her...

"Thanks... I can go now..."

"No... Let me get you across to the station"

"Please... You have done a lot for me...," her voice sounded strained...

"No Shriya... Come along... " He walked on towards the station... She sighed aloud and followed him...

The station was almost deserted that afternoon.... Strange....

Few people were waiting on the long rows of benches....

She stopped... "Thanks a lot... I can really take care.... "

"You sure?... Shriya... You look...."

"I feel really healthy...." she forced a smile....

All he could notice were the beads of perspiration on her face and neck in that cold afternoon...

"Well..."

"Bye then...."

She was already walking across the tracks...

"Wait... take the over bridge.... And give me your mobile number... Hey!"

She was standing still in the middle of the track....

"Give me your number.... Shriya!"

He realized she had not heard him.... She was slowly collapsing down... right on the tracks...

He stood rooted.... It was like he was imagining it....

He wanted to move... To hold her... To help her up.....

And all that was springing up in his mind was the image of a lonely lost angel on a green Christmas tree....

Something pulled him out.... The sound of an approaching train....

He did not know how he moved... did not realize when he took that first step out of his reverie....

All he knew was that he should reach her before the train did....

He was there... Holding her... Cradling her form in his arms.....

The train passed by....

It was then that Krish realized that even if he had walked down and gently helped her up, he could have still saved her from the train....

It had been that far off....

She was regaining senses.... She looked up and it took sometime for her eyes to focus.....

She was saying something and he held her closer to hear what she was saying....

"Oh no!" she groaned "Oh no! Not you again.... Oh no!"

A Drive Together...

2007-07-27T23:12:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 36

It took longer than she thought it would....

They messed up with the tubes....

She now had 2 incisions in her right hand and there was still some loss of blood.....

She dabbed with the cotton wool as she came out....

He was waiting near the desks....

Looking at her as she approached....

She tried to smile... But decided she couldn't...

He smiled instead....

"So who do we have here? A martyr?"

She blushed...."No... It is something we all have to do.... It also cleanses our system you know..."

"Your hand looks ravaged...."

I feel the same with you around... she thought...

"Nothing serious... Just a wrong incision"

They walked in silence...

"You are a regular?"

"Hmm... I try to be...."

"I can't stand the smell..."

"Of blood?"

"Of blood....."

"Oh.... Some are allergic to the smell... I guess...."

"Really?"

"No, er... I just guessed..."

He laughed aloud at that...

"You were waiting for someone right?"

"Yes... for you..."

She hoped that at times like this her legs would not give that warning shake....

"No... I mean... You said you were driving someone here..."

"My sister in law's sister.... She left... got worked up with me..."

"Oh..."

"Let me drop you home... "

"No... thanks... I came by bus... can get back by..."

"No, Shriya... You can't travel back this way... You look weaker..."

"Who? Me!"

"Yes... You!"

She was smiling... Then recollected herself.... It was nice having him call her by name.... She never had the guts to try it with him... safer to use "you" while addressing, abrupt though...

"No... I can't do this...."

"You should.... I will at least have the satisfaction of having helped a martyr right?"

"Stop it... And well...."

"Settled then..."

They reached his car... The same copper-gold Honda City that she had seen the other day...

He opened the back door.... She stared at him and slowly refused....

"No... Hope you know this... When a friend or someone our equal drives.... We shouldn't sit at the back.... It isn't manners...."

He smiled broader than she had hoped for....

"The first girl I have come across who knows car etiquette..."

Girl?.... "Woman" would fit the bill.....

And yet she smiled.....

He opened the front door and she seated herself... He got in and revved up the car....

As he smoothly accelerated out of the parking lot, she wished that, etiquette withstanding, she had got in in the back....

Sitting next to him was something totally unnerving...

She hoped that the seat belt would hold her tighter than it did.... In case she shivered more than humanly possible....

They meet ?

2007-07-27T22:34:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 35

He hated the place... And he hated the fact that she was pestering him to donate blood....

"Stop it Preetha," He said it louder and harsher than he intended to....

She turned away hurt.... And then shot back at him...

"Maybe this is what you rich kids are... Afraid to even part with your own blood.... Snobs..."

He did not talk back..... She walked away....

He decided to wait for her to come back.... She still was in the process of signing papers before donating....

He would never tell her that he was phobic towards the smell of blood....

It would not matter to people who thought you were snobs, anyway.

He smiled.... Better this way... He was rid of her... At last peace!

He walked away as far as he could from the row of white lined beds....

He was near the registration desks now .... Preetha had seen him as he approached and left in a huff back into the donating hall....

Good riddance.... As though he was back to make up.....

He leaned against a tree .... And he heard the ring of a cell phone somewhere around....

It was quickly curbed....

He glanced lazily at the girl... Pale green salwar suit.... Her back to him....

She turned...

Krish walked upto her... She was busy struggling to pull out something from her handbag to notice him approach...

"Maybe you are here to donate blood...."

"Er...," she looked up at his eyes, and for the second time in her life... she heard the word whispered again....

Soulmates.....

Shriya was thankful that she was in the open, around people and not alone then....

Somehow the crowd seemed to give her enough courage to stand straight... without fainting over....

Dark purple met her eyes..... His shirt... She did not want to look up into those eyes again... It would be better talking to a button at eye level...

"Gr..Great to see you again.... "

"Donating?"

"No thinking of gardening.... What a stupid question"

He smiled.... That silenced her wit....

Just when she thought she was being funny... He had to smile!?!

"I mean, what else could people be here for?"

"No... You could be here, like me, to drive someone around...."

"You mean you are not going to....."

"No...."

"Any health related problem?"

"No.... Just not interested...."

"Not interested?"

"Yes...."

"That's selfish," Shriya could not hide her disappointment... She had always thought of Krish as a man who was confident and smart and generous and determined and talented and intelligent and....

Man... Not boy anymore....

"Actually not...."

"Why?.... You could try...."

"Try?," He laughed out loud.... "You make it sound like some sort of first time game trial that I am taking..."

"Sorry.... Anyway... My turn next.... ''

"I will come in with you?"

"No... Thanks," she added...

"I will wait here then..."

She gave a small nod and went in, hoping that he would have left by the time she returned....

A Call Back Home....

2007-07-27T21:00:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 34

At last.

A day to herself.... Completely free....

Maybe she should finally succumb to the sleep that had been eluding her the past week....

Or call up her parents.....

She called them... Her mother picked up within the first three rings....

"Hello ma...."

"Finally you called.... Been waiting for you to call.... Did not want to disturb you...."

"I know... How are you? Dad?"

"Fine.... I should be asking you this Shri.... Am still getting worried every night at the thought of you being so far away and all alone.... "

"Ma.... Please...."

"I know...." her mother sighed.... "If only your dad can get a transfer, we will be there the next hour...."

"I think he will ma.... And you two don't listen when I tell you that he should stop working...."

"He doesn't want to be home doing nothing...."

"Hmm.... Know what ma... I have this whole day off... And am wondering what I should be doing today.... Oh....I know what you will say.... Go to the temple right?"

"No... Take rest Shri... You sound real tired..."

"I feel better than how I sound...."

"Did you eat?"

"Er.... I will be eating in sometime..."

"What did you cook for yourself today?... Don't eat out there...."

"I won't ma... That rather reminds me... I got to be off to cook now...."

"Call me up again.... Or shall I?"

"You can call anytime... Or what say I call you in the evening?... Will get to talk to both of you then..."

"Fine then Shri.... Be careful"

"Take care"

Shriya wasn't thinking about food... It was the last thing on her mind then...

She remembered the announcement in the local papers....

And got ready to go....

Said and Done!!

2007-07-25T21:31:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 33

"Maybe you should come to that camp tomorrow...."

He did not want to hear it again.... He almost snapped back at her....

"I don't have the time for it.... And am not interested"

She felt angry but was not going to show it anyway.

And the matter might have subsided then hadn't his mother entered right at that moment....

"Krish... now you don't need to do anything more than just taking her there... She will need help anyway after donating blood"

"Ask Aarthi to take her there...."

"Aarthi is going to come with me to the Satsang.... "

He wished they would all disappear and leave him alone with his codes....

"Mom, sorry you can not talk me into this... I am NOT going and that is that"

His mom left the room with that.... Preetha left a few minutes later after staring at the wall....

It was in the evening that everything started again....

"Krish you must take her along with you..."

"But no.... Dad... I have something to do tomorrow....."

"I don't think it is something that is not worth postponing...."

"Well.... no... but then I still think that she can go alone... I guess that she is not that fragile she will collapse or something...."

"Don't talk that way Krish...."

"Dad...."

"Preetha you can go with him tomorrow... And Krish make sure that you get her something to eat after she donates.... Maybe a couple of juices..."

The only response that Krish could make then was kicking away at the hard wood sofa.... It still did nothing to bring that frustration within him to normal limits....

His mother smiled.... Proved yet again... The only person of whom Krish was scared was his father....

Better that way... At least he held the reins....

But she still hoped that Krish would find someone better than Preetha.... She knew what Aarthy had in mind.... It was enough having one of those sisters home....

Tomorrow would be a better day......

Etched

2007-07-25T19:15:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 32

"I can take that suitcase....."

"That's fine.... I was sent along to carry them anyway...."

Preetha smiled.... Maybe this is what they called chivalry.....

She studied him as he led the way..... He looked tired, yet that light in his eyes were proof enough that he was enjoying whatever he was working hard for.....

And he was more handsome than last year.... when she had still been an under grad home with her sister for semester break......

He had set the case into the boot.... and he opened the back door for her.... she got in....

He sighed..... Might be this girl did not know car etiquette.....

The car was well out of the airport by the time she spoke...

"How have you been? Real long since we met right?"

"Yes... Been a nice year... "

"For me too.... Happy I got placed.... Gives you a sense of independence right?"

"Which?"

"I mean being able to earn your own bread...."

"Hmm"

Something told Preetha that Krish was not going to get farther than his monosyllable answers...

The rest of the ride was silent within that car....

She remembered the way he had flirted with her before.... But even then he had never gotten too close to her....

It was sheer indifference....

She was staring at her fingernails as she wondered how close she would like to get to him.....

Someone Else

2007-07-24T19:22:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 31

It was a view that was so heady that took his breath away....

He now understood why so many people woke up early in the morning just to have a cup of tea with the morning sky, the morning sun, the morning haze and the chirp of those lovely sounding birds......

If only he had that special someone with him to spend the moment.....

He promised himself.... Someday, surely.....

He was calling out to him.... Now, it was as natural of Aakash to disturb him right when he needed to be left alone as it was for every dawn to dawn.....

What was it now...!

"Hey Krish.... I think you must be free this evening...."

"Not really...."

Aakash continued as if what Krish said wasn't audible.... "Aarthi's sister Preetha is coming over today.... from Chennai.... I told you yesterday remember?"

"No..."

"And well I think it would be the right thing if you pick her up.... 6 pm... Kingfisher....."

"Right thing?... that would be Aarthy doing it... not me..... "

"Doesn't hurt if you do right?... Besides, Preetha is real pretty..." Aakash winked and left with the same suddenness as he had come....

Krish stood confused....

And with no way out of this he swore under his breath.... He wasn't very familiar with her...

It did not matter... He was just going to play chafferer.....

Which their driver could have well done.....

And it all confused him......

And the fun begins.....

2007-07-19T06:21:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 30

It was Hemanth.

And a small slim girl, with a pretty face.... who looked younger than herself.... carrying an overstuffed suitcase....

"This is Preetha.... Remember I told you about her?....", Hemant gushed....

"Get in first... And Welcome...", Shradha smiled at the girl..

Hemanth went straight upto the couch and flopped down....

Shradha gave him a stare and then led the girl to the sofa...

Hemanth hurriedly took off his shoes before he could be the subject of yet another of "the stare"....

Shradha smiled inwardly and sat opposite the girl....

"Hi Preetha... Am afraid Hemanth can be real lousy with manners... He forgot to introduce us.... I am Shradha... Call me that "

Hemanth gave a kiddish scowl....

Shradha smiled without realizing and continued, "Hemanth has been telling me a lot about you.... Looks like you did yourself well getting recruited straight from college in GE"

Preetha blushed..."That's what my family feel.... But am actually scared... Yet nice to be around people like Hemanth... I will miss this place.... Grew really accustomed with this crowd while training.... Would have liked to stay in Chennai.... "

"Will you be staying by yourself in Bangalore?.... Hemanth told me that you are posted there..."

"No.... Will be staying with my sister at her in-laws place.... Felt really awkward at first... But as usual Aarthy got the last word..... That's my sister...", she added....

"Oh...."

"And Shradha... My brother in law was a student of the same school that you studied in..."

"Really?"

"Yes... Hemanth used to tell us all a lot about you.... I came to know that way...."

Shradha cast a pleasant look at Hemanth... He pretented to be busy studying the pattern on their wall paper....

"Aakash must have been your senior"

"Aakash? Your brother in law?"

"Yup"

A tingle went down Shradha's back.... No, it can't be.....

"Even his brother studied there... He might have been your batch... Krish...."

Shradha was quiet....

Then...

"I know him... I think"

"He must have been famous..... He is a real smart guy... and intelligent too....," Preetha laughed and then added on a serious note,"In fact Aarthy wants me to marry him.... What plots elder sisters plan!"

Maybe it was good that Hemanth broke that pause from Shradha....

"Will you girls sometime note that I have hardly had a word in?"

"Sorry Hemanth... Meeting Shradha was like meeting an old pal... I just lobbed on...."

"Maybe you girls can talk better over some snack.... And that way I will have something to concentrate on..."

Shradha gave a forced laugh and went in to whip up something...

She did not concentrate much on the rest of the afternoon, just looked after the cooking and was a good host....

And in the evening when Hemanth offered to drop Preetha at the airport, Shradha did not accompany them....

She was talking to herself.... Was Shriya going to come out of all this alright?

A new interruption

2007-07-18T19:48:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 29

Shradha was free that Saturday.....

Hemanth had gone out early that morning to meet a colleague regarding some contract for his company....

She was proud that he was the Chief Engineer, Electronics Division at GE....

And working fast on the way up.....

She was planning a day out with him....

Movies and lunch out at his favorite restaurant....

She smiled... Hemanth was happy with any outing as long as she planned the food factor....

Not that food was his passion.... Maybe it was....

And she was too good at cooking.... Something that earned his ready respect for her in the initial days of their courtship....

It was the initial part that had been difficult..... Getting him convinced that she was the right one for him....

And getting him to sit still enough to realize that he liked her more than he cared to know himself....

He had always been prone to disappearing at the most crucial times.... Right when there was a heavy decision to be made.... Libran attitude?

And then she had just hoped that he too liked her the way she liked him....Rather she knew it and had hoped he realized soon enough...

The good thing was he did....

Their's had been one of the funniest love stories ever in their close circles....

A very playful guy and a looking-stern girl....

Opposites, but not really.....

What many did not know was that Shradha was one of the warmest person they could ever get to know....

Very few found out that part of her... And those who did could only laugh at everyone else who thought otherwise....

And when Hemanth came to know Shradha.... really came to know her.... he wasted almost no time proposing.....

A moon light proposal it was....

Just as dreamy as they could get.... At a late night party....

In the midst of their closest friends, the stars, moonlight and of course lots of food.....

It was perfect.... Just what she had always dreamed of....

He was perfect too....

Life had been one big honeymoon later.....

The bell rang.... Must be him....

She opened the door with a wide smile.....

Hope Fairy

2007-07-18T18:07:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 28

Shradha was preparing dinner....

The phone rang just as she set the table....

Shriya seemed unusually perked up... but still there was caution in her "hello".

"Hey, Shriya! What a surprise... Am real happy you called..... "

"Are you free....?"

"Of course... Go on, tell me what's new!"

"Well...."

"Come on Shriya...."

"How is Hemanth?"

"He is fine.... But I know you did not call me to ask this.... Go on... speak your mind lady!"

"I saw Krish"

There was a momentary silence at Shradha's end....

"Wow!"

"Yea...wow!.... But you see something happened today....."

"Hmm.... Go on..."

"I was taking a walk around Cubbon Park... And somewhere near the center, I saw this clump of trees.... And it was like real scary ...... frightening"

"Hey.... I completely am off-track.....explain..."

"It was the feel of the place Shradha.... The darkness in the center.... The tall trees rising above..... And that creepy feeling.... I felt Krish so close to me there...."

"You fine?... You seem completely shaken da...."

"I know.... And then I almost raced out of the place.... "

"And you saw Krish? I mean in Bangalore?.... But you told me his mother told he was in Malaysia...."

"Yes and no.... I mean I saw him today in Bangalore.... Very near my apartment... He was driving a Honda City...old model.... And I think he is home for some vacation... Maybe he is back for good...."

"Great...."

"Anyway Shradha... I just wanted to tell you...."

"Anytime...."

"And I have to get going now.... Got some books to search up for...."

"Fine then... I might be meeting your parents tomorrow or the day after...."

"Thanks da.... They must be happy having you there... "

Shradha laughed... Then they wound up the call.....

Shriya went back to her books with a lightened heart....

Shradha was the one who was feeling heavy then.... Things were perking up....

She just hoped they did turn out all fine......

A Forbidden Spot..... And then them....

2007-07-18T10:17:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 27

She made her way lazily around the park....

Cubbon Park in Bangalore...

The train that runs around it was making slow rounds... She watched it as she sat on one of the metal benches there...

A nice way to spend a completely useless morning... She could have rather gone to work... Stupid of her to have taken leave....

A couple of kids were playing around.... Shriya watched them with interest... The younger one was bossing over the other.....

It brought back memories of her own childhood....

She had mostly been bossed around.... a meek kid trying to cope up with the flaws in her world... a child to whom every day seemed magical and every night seemed mysterious....

Dawn spoke of birds twittering, but always just out of reach.... the sun spreading out with a million rays.... some that she believed she could catch... the stars fading away slowly into the morning glaze... promising her their special promise of returning later in the evening.... just for her....

Dusk was always the better part of her days.... She was also afraid of the dark... as most kids then... but then somehow in the comfort of her family and her bed.... she felt safer.....

And then there were the dreams..... Long ones, short ones, medium ones....

But they always inspired her... gave her a million meanings ....

And she sought them....

It was like she prayed daily to whatever Dream Fairy there was that existed....

Shriya sat there lost in herself... yet she found herself laughing at the antics of those two kids....

The morning was slowly fading away...

Maybe high time that she head back home....

And back to dull routines.....

She decided to just take a small walk around again to stretch her legs.....

It was when she was winding up her walk that she came across that clump of trees..... She didn't know what variety......

But they were real thin...... And tall....

Their height scared her... Gave her a curiosity that was only second nature to her Self....

She moved closer.....

She was too near them suddenly.... peering into the center...

It was like nothing that she had ever experienced before.....

There was a huge circular patch on the ground around which the trees spread their roots..... And they rose from there..... bent around the roots and gradually straightening up....

Leaves and twigs dotted the patch... The patch itself was nothing more than a meter in diameter.... And the dark center...... shaded by the shadows of the trees and lit up by the threads of sunlight that seeped through........

It scared her.....

No, that is an understatement.....

Shriya was lost in a primeval past.... Something seemed to have effortlessly lifted her from the present presence of Cubbon Park and placed her elsewhere....

It was like the park was nothing that mattered.... like it was not there.....

Timelessness within the present.....

And then there was that roar rushing into her ears.... A kind of a muted scream..... Chilling her with all its intensity.... Yet sourceless....

Suddenly she moved.... Away.... Back....

And found herself stumbling over some broken branches littering the grass in the park.....

She turned from there and almost ran down to the exit... Without looking back once....

Out of Cubbon Park.... Near the Mahatma Gandhi Circle....

She took a cab from there.....

And reached home in what can be described best only as transience......

For never before in her life had she felt as close to Krish as she had felt when she looked into the clump and heard the scream.....

It was like he was holding her.... closer than she had ever imagined possible... and was shielding her away from whatever memory that place held....

And also....

She had seen him on her way back home......

She did not mind that she had been too shocked to call out.... that she had been dumbstruck and euphoric all at the same time.....

It did not matter....

Just this did....

He was here...........

Usual, Nothing much then....

2007-07-18T08:41:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 26

Shriya was up early that day.... She had had almost nil sleep the last night, preparing notes... And referring books.... though she had it all in her mind....

The excitement around her was too much to keep away from.... all that nervous energy in her....

Today would be the first step toward whatever her future held for her...

Nothing else bothered her right now....

Today was like no other day... She headed to the city high court....

After submitting her case, she waited with a representative of her client, a middle aged amicable man who seemed to have too much to talk about right then....

And she won it.....

She headed back home, saturated with praises from her peers and a personal gratitude call from the client himself.....

Her firm was proud of her... They offered a celebration dinner that night, but Shriya gently refused and asked for the next day off instead....

She had already called up her parents, who were more than happy and she could almost sense their tears..... She wanted to be with them right then.... and then Shradha, who had squealed with delight.....

And now.... there was no one else to share the joy with....

For now... it was a lonely night, a lonely bed and a lonely sense of happiness.....

A New Place

2007-07-17T23:12:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 25

He loved driving down the city.... even with it's traffic....

There was a certain thrill at being able to get behind the wheel and stay there for a real long time... passing through miles of roads...

He stopped at the signal... Benson Town was to the left.... He took a turn there and drove down...

The building was set back with a certain mix of modernity and subtlety.... He liked the look of it... But he was put off by the fact that there were not many people there.... He would have liked crowds... The more, The merrier.....

He took the lift to the twentieth floor.... and walked through the frosted glass doors into his new place of work....

He greeted the receptionist..... A pretty petite girl with a charming smile.... and sought out his cabin...

It looked great... With a window looking out over the many apartments there....

Someday.... He will come to know that one of them was Shriya's with her dwelling on the twentieth floor too........

And even now, his heart was doing flip flops.... without giving him conscious reasons...

Changes Happen, Uncontrolled.....

2007-07-17T22:55:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 24

He was sifting through his cabinet... A few discs and a couple of pen drives... His old laptop charger....
Some pens... And some carbon pencils... He smiled as he packed them in a briefcase ....

Krish loved pencil sketching.... And carbon pencils were the best in the trade according to him....

Though he did experiment with colored pencils, nothing could replace the elegance and detail of black on white papers....

And he kept a couple of them where ever he could so that he could doodle around in in-between breaks....

It was over.... The packing was done and he was ready.... He picked up the briefcase and walked out the cabin....

He was soon at home... Tomorrow would be a new day... at a new place....

His firm was shifting base to a bigger building at another corner of the city.... Almost a quiet area.....

A less noisier and calmer place to work in....

Yet, a tug at his heart.....

He looked at his case, walked up to it and searched inside....

Nothing missing.... Even the discharged batteries that he had meant to throw out were there....

He cast them away in the waste bin....

Still....... What had he left behind there??

A Friend thinks over.....

2007-07-17T20:29:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 23

Shradha was in the lab.... watching the students clatter around with their test tubes and vials....

Being the youngest staff in the biotechnology department of the University Of Madras could have its own taxations......

And being beautiful was an added concern for her....

She was in the least interested in teaching them today... Maybe she could leave them to fiddle with things...

She was thinking about Shriya.....

Life can be real funny at times.... It was a known fact....

But Shradha was a person who believed that the funnier life gets, the more meaningful it will end up as....

Like it had happened in her own..... She smiled....

Shriya... and... Krish.....

Why was it that it seemed to be the most cruel trial on Shriya.... She deserved better surely....

Somewhere in herself, she ached to help Shriya out... but was scared of what would happen when she did.....

Krish was not someone who would like to be dictated on emotional terms....

She was at dead ends now... Somewhere Shriya was suffering silently and here she had no avenue to turn to.....

Something had to be done....

As she heard the clink of a vial crashing somewhere, she came out of her reverie....
She sighed and made her way to the student with as stern a face as she could muster.....

Her From Him.....

2007-07-17T18:25:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 22

He was silent as he sat before the television.... A documentary film... something on child development and bringing up....

He muted it... And leaned back....

Shriya....

Her name was beautiful.... to him....
So was she... in every way...

And still somewhere within him, he loved playing with her.... teasing her.... as he had always done...
Without speaking a single word to her.....

Krish used to be very amused by her reactions to him sometimes....

Even at school when she thought he had never noticed.... And he knew all along what she was thinking....

She was like an open book... but only he could understand her....

When they stood beside each other in assembly at school.... With her struggling to move away in that constricted space.... Looking as decently petrified as she could... and trying to conceal it

Watching her walk down the stairs steady and in control until she saw him.... Her almost slipping sometimes.... catching the guard rails the other times....

Knowing she was watching him in between classes.... And looking up at her suddenly... Shocking her and embarrassing her.....

Smiling a weird smile at her when he was sure that no one other than her noticed...

Teasing her by showing interest in every other girl there.... Stopping by everyone else in the class and wishing them, greeting them, speaking with them....

And when it came to her.... He always kept a straight face and moved on.....

And till some years ago he never knew why he was playing with her..... He did it because he felt the urge to do so.....

And then he realized he loved her.... beyond bounds.... beyond words that could ever describe what he was feeling for her......

Like that day he had met her in the get together..... He was actually thankful she had left....
The tension between them had been so huge that he was sure that had she stayed back a little while longer.... He could have taken her in his arms.....

And she was now here.... in Bangalore.... With her telephone number well within reach...

And yet why wasn't he trying to reach her?!

Why she heard him not.....

2007-07-17T13:38:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 21

Shriya walked in and greeted the woman there with a cheerful good afternoon....

"Hello Gauri.... Hows the place today? Again good business?"

Gauri gave a nod... She liked this soft-spoken, always-smiling, young lawyer....

There was something about this girl, with eyes that could speak....

Shriya stood by the service counter and leaned over....

"The usual...." she said....

Gauri had already started fixing it.... cafe au lait.....

The stronger it was.... the better for Shriya....

"Am not going to take it to my cabin.... Will have it here....."Shriya was feeling lonely that afternoon and all she wanted was someone to talk to.... not necessarily something to talk about...

"I met someone new here....."Gauri was starting off with her daily gossip....

"Hmm...."

"A young man in his mid twenties..... must be your age.... very handsome guy...."she winked at that.

Shriya was wondering why today the coffee seemed to have a better taste.... She only half heard Gauri....

"Hmm..."

"I was wondering.... Maybe you should meet him...."

Shriya burst out laughing... "Gauri... do you never give up? Just two weeks back you thought I can date that young software executive...."

"Well, you need to get a life....."

"I do have one and am real happy with it...."

Gauri sighed.... "In any case.... Even as I saw him... I could just think only of you.... The two of you walking together.... hand in hand....."

"You are getting crassly romantic...."

"His name is Shanker..... I could not ask more than that... because Gusto walked in right then with that sour stare...."

Shriya giggled.... Gusto was how they called the shop owner....

"Know what Gauri.... If you have really taken it in you that you must try and play matchmaker for me... can't you try to pair me up with Gusto...? My! He looks real real handsome.... sitting in that chair ramrod straight like an Egyptian.... with soulful eyes that have an even more soulful look..... Imagine me and him walking hand in hand... Romantic, what say?"

Gauri was horrified..."I really hope you don't say that next time.... No joking around.... Now get going.... Soulful look! Looks to me more like the look of a silly crocodile caught the wrong way up.."

"You are mean...."Shriya laughed as she paid her .....

"Well, someday Shriya, when you meet Shanker, you will wonder why you did not listen to me...."

"You seem to be really impressed....Let me hope then that I never meet him"

She waved Gauri a goodbye and walked out....

She liked Gauri's sister-like concern over her..... But fixing up for her was crazy.....

Shanker..... If only the guy had a different first name with the same last name....
She might have showed interest if he had been named Krish Shanker.....
She smiled....

So did Fate.... Far above....

As Days Pass...

2007-07-17T07:37:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 20

Krish was reaching work early these days.... It was like the place held his interest.... Some kind of unknown and unrealized bonding.....

He smiled wanly... The only factor that made these days miserable was the Bangalore cold.... a hateful chill that made you cold right into your bones.....
He would have liked a little sun...
And maybe a spattering of rain then.....

He badly wanted a cup of hot hot tea.... And it was today that the dispenser at his office was empty... except for lemon tea....

Yuck!

He heard that somewhere on the next floor there was a coffee shop....

He went up to it.... And looked around the small yet neatly kept place.....
There was a single woman in her mid thirties attending a group of four young women....
She turned around and smiled when she saw him....

"Welcome sir.... How may I help you? .... Maybe you should have a look at the menu...."
She fumbled around and brought up a nice little colored card.... that had almost every variety of coffee listed....
And no tea.....

A literal coffee shop?.... Without tea??

He hesitated.... He had never liked coffee.... In fact he hated it.....

Maybe just for now... In all this cold.... He had to give in....

He ordered the first coffee type on the list.... espresso....
He knew what it was.... something like u forcefully pass hot water through the coffee powder so that you get a naturally strong brew......

Yuck again!!

While he waited he looked around the place..... The group of girls were leaving, though not before glancing back at him.... He smiled at one of them, and the others giggled their way out...

His coffee was ready.... He made a face at the first sip, and the woman frowned....

"You like it sir? Maybe you would like more sugar..... Though it spoils the taste of espresso", She added more sugar in his cup....

It still tasted nothing better.....

He looked at the menu... wondering how some people took up careers as coffee tasters.... with all these kinds of brews and still to him every coffee kind had tasted the same....

Even every type of tea at that..... Except lemoned ones...!!

"You own this place?", he asked the woman....

She blushed... "No sir, I work here.... Someday I might really get to own some such place..." and smiled....

He smiled too....

Krish gulped down the remaining coffee.... The faster he got done with it the better.... At least the taste would not linger....

"You new here? I haven't seen you around...."

"Yes... "

"Your name....?" She blushed even as she asked it.....

Just then a plump small man walked in staring at them.... It was obvious he was the owner.... The woman bristled....

"I am Shanker... And how much will that cost me?..." Krish thought better than to give out his first name right then... The man was staring at them and she had already gone pale....

He paid her and as he walked out he stopped near the man....

"You have a nice place here... And great coffee...Never tasted something as perfect as that... "

The man grunted.

Nice reply... Krish shook his head.....

Krish headed back down the floor....

Had he waited to savour the coffee a little more in the shop.... he might have come across Shriya who was just then stepping into the little outlet, smiling at the woman as she entered....

Why thoughts travel years back in a second.....

2007-07-15T22:06:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 19

Shriya got an hour off for lunch....

She had got the big news today... She was to represent her firm for a textile baron the next month....

She was supposed to be ecstatic.... She was... And after calling up Chennai and informing dad, mom and Shradha.... she sat down for a cup of coffee from the coffee shop down the floor....

The coffee was fine... but had a lot of milk..... she never noticed it.....

Sitting alone in her cabin, in that big, black cushioned swivel chair.... she couldn't help turning herself to look out of the window.... At the mid afternoon skies... And mourn for herself....

Mourn for her lost love.... A love so beautiful that she felt it was too good to be anything true

There were no words in any language that could truly describe her feel about him.... No, rather about them....

And that was why she had been silent all along.... throughout the whole time....

And the numerous nights that she had spent crying within herself.... weeping for what they could have had but could not.....

He was too far out of reach..... It was like she was a ragged old doll waiting for the most liveliest child to come and pick her up, knowing full well that the kid would never want her.... as to the million other curly wonder dolls that existed.....

And she had no option of speaking out....

Somewhere within, she cried every moment she was not with him.... To share his joys...

But more than anything to be with him when he cried.... When this big wide world was going to hurt him and he could have no one beside him and all he would have then would be her.....

And she would be enough to make the whole world his.... With her love....

Bullshit!

Shradha always said that she could rather be a mother-figure to him than anything else.....

Maybe it was so.... There was something very naive about him that she knew needed her.... but he never seemed to want.....

Why can't the world realize that love that is real can do more wonders than anything else?

Because the world had failed to realize true love from others.... And had lost trust....

Someday, she would break her silence.... But then, she was worried if it will be of any use....

Krish....

He might never realize her emotions..... leave alone listen to her....

And that made her love him more......

And he was so so far away......

She had to see him in occasional dreams.... And that hurt her very deeply.....

Distances...

She had to let go someday..... Maybe when she would let go of herself....

She still could not get anything about him out from her mind.... She never wanted to....

He was safer in there..... In her mind.... In her heart.... Within her soul.....

With his smiles and gazes and his voice.....
Forever reverberating words that he had ever spoken.....
Forever small actions that he had ever done....
The movement of a hand...
The way he tried to drive his friends cycle, unsuccessfully...
The way he spoke about how he drove cars....
His craze for cars, games, space, stars, computers.....
His liking for green colored bags... navy green at that...
His way of writing his name at the right most corner of his books.... in as small a hand as he could write...
His way of being confident of himself at the right time....
His interests in debates, quizzes, drama....
His way of handling people....
His respect towards everyone.....
His craze for books.....
His nasty yet interesting way of reading the last few pages of a book standing by the library shelves.... lost in his own world of glistening imaginations.....
His crazy way of putting his hands in his pockets while walking......

And the lopsided smile with those sharp yet sensitive eyes that always seemed to look deep into you when he looked.....

Krish..... A five lettered miracle in her life......

Maybe miracles were meant to be dreams.... dreams that were unspeakable.... dreams that could give so much pain when you were meant to be happy.... just because those very dreams could not become reality....

Dreams that pained because they were not true... And they were not shared between hearts....
Because they were alone.... all alone in a place meant to be not alone....

As she drank the coffee, she never realized that the salty taste of it was from her own tears.....

Towards....

2007-07-15T12:33:00.001+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 18

Shriya looked around the room.... It was a total mess....

Papers everywhere, pens... some without refills.... and only one was usable.... paper clips and post it notes..... a toppled flower vase... the flowers, she had discarded them last evening.... and clothes... on the table, on the bed and on the floor....

She wondered what her mother would say if she saw the room now..... and laughed out....

She had grown..... but not yet out of her habits....

She was early today.... already ready for work.... and she still had around an hour to spare before she went to work....
Maybe she should clean up stuff....
She sighed, not yet ready for the endeavor....

She picked up a magazine and started browsing through it...... And then came across an article about how dreams are nothing more than subconscious desires.... that they have no meaning otherwise...
She believed it.....
Though she did not want to....

And the constant nagging in her mind was startled an put off by the call..... her driver was waiting downstairs......
She took the lift to twenty floors down.... and was on her way to work.....

And as she reached the complex.... her only thought was why she was feeling nervously excited after the night's dream...

As he climbed up the flight of stairs of that big building to reach the lobby, Krish felt something unnatural.....

As though he knew the way all around the place already.....

Deja vu!

Unwelcome ? Maybe so, Maybe not

2007-07-15T09:29:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 17

It was the usual.... Nothing much had changed....

His mom was the only person at home who was really happy to see him.... Though after the initial joy, she too seemed put off at the prospect of her son working in India, instead of some exotic place in the world....

It was almost the same with Aarthy.... She was now more bothered about how the pay package would be and whether he had any chance of making it fatter and better.... Maybe she was having something else in mind......

Aakash wasn't home when Krish arrived.... Some jogging and fitness regime.... He returned after an hour....

His dad did not take any interest beyond a few words of praise or welcome....

He hurt Krish beyond he could imagine....

A day into being back home... And Krish was left feeling lonely again.....

It was better in Malaysia.... At least there, there was no one to question him about his daily work... And he could walk in and out of that desolate apartment as and when he wished....

He felt more than unwelcome.... And remained in his room most of the time when he was home...

Maybe.... Getting back to Bangalore wasn't a great move....

And somewhere, his mind played nasty games with his heart.... Maybe she wouldn't care too... Maybe he was being silly to imagine she would....

Tomorrow was the day he was to report back at work.... He hoped it would be fine, at least....

What he did not realize was that he was going to work in the same building as Shriya.....

Fate likes playing hide and seek.... Leaving no idea to it's victims as whose turn it is to seek...

Star Speak

2007-07-14T20:40:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 16

Out through the window, the stars could be seen in the early mist of dawn.....

She sat wrapped in her sheets... shivering out of cold and emotion....
A bundle in a black quilt .... all alone in that big bed in a lone room in a lonely house....

She was desperate to get back back into that dream....

She closed her eyes.....
Back, she reflected, on the dream....

She had been walking in a park with Shradha... her best friend for life.....
The park.... well, it looked like a park.... with lovers' seats and plants all around.... and a canopy of steel .... a kind of pillared grid....

And then, there she had seen Krish.... a red tee and jeans... well, he did look smart..... with an old friend of his from school......

And she had been watching him with Shradha, giggling.... as usual!
But then, he seemed to be oblivious of her... as usual.....
By then they were walking away onto the roads.... with the two boys following them out, a long way off....

It had started raining...

She and Shradha had run to a house.... not old... recently built.... with a staircase running up on the side....
The doors had been locked.... So they sat on the staircase... and miraculously the rains were gone.... and she was all dry....

Shradha was saying something and going away.... She was gone before Shriya could ask her to stay....

To not leave her alone there.... As just then she had spotted Krish there.... and was scared.... no, badly scared....

As she had always been.... And still was.....

He had come up the stairs .... She could not even move out now..... She sat rigid.... and scared....

He leaned over her.... She leaned back away from him...

He was so near now that she closed her eyes..... petrified...

He took hold of her hand.... It made her eyes fly wild open...

And he smiled at her... that crazy special smile of his....

And he spoke....

"Tell me what you want me to do..... What do u want from me?... Go on..."

She was staring into his eyes..... At his face.... And at the black skies spread with stars above him.....

And all the stars seemed to be edging her to reply to him.... To talk her mind.....

And he was smiling....

And too close....

She couldn't talk..... Not with him holding her.... Leaning over her.... And having her pinned to the stairs....

And the stars above, and him, and her were lost in eternity.......

Shriya opened her eyes.....
And looked out of the window..... Million questions running in her mind.... Still petrified and shivering....

The stars were answering her in the twilight.... And she shivered.... At the absurdity of the answer.....

He was close ?

And life brightens

2007-07-14T18:21:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 15

He had so much to do.... There was absolutely no time to think of anything else....

Packing... It was the only part of shifting back that was over within a day....
Paper work.... And all the official requirements...

Calls....

When he finally could take a whole afternoon's worth of rest, it was the day before he was leaving back to India....

Back to home ground....

His mom had been very relieved and more than just happy... His dad had taken the news as yet another information about him....
His brother was more bothered about his promotion....

All that mattered to Krish now was that he was going to say a bye to his loneliness.
And something else too mattered.....

The last day of his stay in Malaysia, he went shopping...
Nothing much... other than chocolates and some gifts for everyone at home.....

On an impulse, he bought a single glass rose with a stem....
It was a beautiful piece of art....

And he knew who deserved it......

And from inside the plane that night, the stars seemed to glow brighter than they ever had....

His driver was waiting for him.... The trip home was silent.

Bangalore seemed different this time.... Warmer even in that cold dawn...

And somewhere in another part of that city, Shriya woke up with a dream that scared her with it's intensity.....

When it is Time...

2007-07-13T18:35:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 14

Krish waited for her call.... Rithi would call anytime now....

And he waited....

It was lonely... Now that his mother had also gone back....
He missed her too..... Even after her strange behavior throughout her stay.....
She hadn't pestered him much with her lectures this time.....
And as he had become so used to them.... somehow their absence seemed weird.....

And there had been that major game development that he had just finished yesterday.... after a whole week of work.... 24 x 7....

He decided he looked tired as he looked at himself in the mirror.... Maybe time for a refreshing bath and a cup of hot tea.. after that he could order out for the night....

He wanted to stay at home as far as possible.... Not worth taking the chance of missing the call....

Lost in deep thoughts.... he realized the ping....
Someone was online.... chat?

It was Rithi..... She was offline already..... But had logged in to leave an off line message....

Why did she not call?

"I tried her..... She wasn't home, I guess..... She is in Bangalore now... Working with a private law firm.... civil law..... I left a message in her answering machine.... She didn't yet call back.... Maybe you should try .... Her number is....."

He closed the chat box.....

Insane.... Why was he this angry? Frustrated? Despair!

He had felt something yesterday night.... And knowing it was late evening in India, he had called Rithi and told her to find Shriya....

Thinking of her hurt him more....

It was evening when the call came.....

And it was his boss' number..... Maybe they were not impressed with the game...
Maybe he had been wrong taking the day off today and was going to be fired....

Big Deal !

It didn't matter much..... He was sure he could get a job anywhere, any day and still make a great career out of it....

He wasn't very modest.... He knew he was worth every nickel they paid him....

He took on the call....

Krish finished the conversation after an hour and sat dazed......

He went out to his balcony and stood there ...... watching the lemon tree.... staring at it....

He was grinning....... And couldn't yet believe it....

Promoted as a Project Head, Animation wasn't a simple feat.....

And the fact that he was to report back in Bangalore, India next week wasn't a daily news....

Confusions Within It all

2007-07-12T23:52:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 13

Rithika was puzzled.... and felt strange....

She had been sure of talking to Shriya when Krish had called her.... He had sounded very distant and occupied..... He had simply asked her to get in touch with Shriya....

Which was very peculiar....

He never had been behind any girl till now.... She smiled.... They were the ones seeking him out....

The call had come late evening .... As though something in him had triggered a feeling... an emotion....
And she had immediately set about contacting old friends and had tracked Shriya to Bangalore....
Getting her number from another common friend had been more difficult.....

She was alright even as she had started the call.... then had freaked out when she was put to the answering machine....

Somehow the words didn't materialize...
And now... an hour after the call, she was convinced she should stay back.....

Krish had to deal with it himself..... She would just pass on the number to him....

And stay away..... It was better......

Else someday.... She may fall for this new, caring person Krish seemed to have changed into....

A heart speaks to itself......

2007-07-12T23:01:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 12

She checked the machine.... Some unknown number...
There was a voice message.... She switched it on and started changing into warmer clothes....

"Hi Shriya...."
A voice she couldn't place .... A long pause....
"This is Rithi here.... Would like to talk with you.... Please call me back..."

Shriya cut off the recording before she said the number.....

She was shivering again... badly....

She reached for the coffee maker..... A hot brew

She sat down on the floor.... and pulled a few cushions onto her lap.... Leaned on the wall... and closed her eyes....

Why was Rithika starting it now..... just when she was convinced that maybe he was out of her life...at least.....

It was evident there was something wrong.... Rithika had tried to sound friendly.... Her tone... her usage of words... Her introducing herself as Rithi... instead of her full name.... and the plain fact that she didn't say why she was calling....

Everything had a hidden sense.....

Shriya took a few deep breaths..... She wasn't going to call back... no way....

She set the coffee mug on the floor and walked to the machine..... she flipped on the calls and deleted it....

And then wondered who could have given her number to Rithi......

She made her way back to the coffee..... It had gone cold.....

So had her heart.... With his memories....

What was warm that night in Shriya's world were her tears streaming down her tired face...

A Lonely Road And Nothing At the End

2007-07-12T21:08:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 11

She slipped her hand in her pocket.... It felt warm.... That was why she liked to stitch in pockets in her salwar suits.....

Time for a long walk....

Bangalore in december could be the world's best and worst place to be in... best since she could walk on for hours together all alone on the roads late in the evening..... cooling off.... and worst because one could cool off too much and freeze out there....

Also.... It was a city she wasn't very fond of....

A city that seemed strange and new, yet familiar... that she was more worried than secure.... It was that kind of familiarity...
She walked on.... not bothered about her slow pace...

Benson Town was a nice neighborhood.... a quiet residential place.... And a walk down the main roads always seemed to instill some peace....

There was a coffee shop at a corner.... But tonight she did not want to go there....
She walked by the cemetery..... And on to the start of the palace grounds......

She turned back there..... And slowed further.....

The night air was chill.... But the warmth of memories kept her temperature up.....

He was still in the very same place in her heart..... She had tried innumerable times to take him out of her Self.... out of her mind.... out of her thoughts....

And every day she told herself that she had done it
And every night she had cried to herself over the fact that he still held on inside.....

She badly wanted to go back and change all that..... No new class.... No meeting anyone.... No falling for anyone.... No memories, desires, wishes, wants......
And no stupid walks alone in the nights... And no tears in her eyes..... As there were now....

No Krish...

She took a turn off the normal course...into a by lane... And walked down....
The street lights here were dull and dim.... And there was a mist forming....

She shivered.....
She reached the end.... And turned around.... Dead ends everywhere.... What a city!

On the way home.... She realized that her shivers were getting profound....
Not due to the cold.... But due to something nervous within her.....

As she opened the door..... She realized that her answering machine was beeping.....

Reckless driving..... And she the reason

2007-07-12T18:55:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 10

It wasn't starting right.....

She was unnaturally silent....
She hadn't commented on his dress, his hairstyle, his battered old second hand Porsche, his reckless driving, his watch, the weather..... whew!

It wasn't a common sight to see his mom this thoughtful... in fact it was a real rarity....

He had always longed for his mom to not have an opinion about everything about him.... but when it was happening.... He couldn't take it...

She caught his eyes just then.... In the rear view mirror....

He turned his eyes to the road.... It was early morning and the traffic was very heavy though not unexpected.... Trucks plying the highways.....

"Shriya.... I met her at the airport in Bangalore.... Before I took the flight to Mumbai...."

The truck driver behind the white old Porsche swore as the car took a sharp turn off the lane.... and then slipped back in.....

Krish was white in the face....
He did not look his mother in the mirror now.... He just said a simple "Hmm...."

"She looked very much like what I remember of her.... And I think she hasn't changed a wee bit.... I mean I slipped down in there and she immediately rushed from somewhere to help me....
Compared to what I have in Aarthy, your snob of a sister-in-law, Shriya seemed an angel".

That did it....

Krish was happy he had reached his apartment.... because he had just lost control of the wheel....
The brakes had helped.....
He picked up his mother's suitcases and followed her into the apartments....

Her silence was slowly breaking.... As she had started grumbling at the look of his home...
For once he was real happy that she was complaining.... diverted...

Maybe she had forgotten the diary.....

He hoped she had.... And whatever he had written in it.... a long while ago....

Time rewards in heaps....

2007-07-12T00:10:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 9

Shriya hurried down the floor....

Dressed in a clear pale yellow saree with minimum jewelery on, she looked every bit the Indian corporate woman... Someone who could get her peer's agreeing with a single raise of her eyebrow...

She was oozing confidence....

Only she did not feel even a wee bit confident then....

She had to make it early to the airport....

She almost ran down the stairs... And was thankful that she never wore the kind of queer heels that other women her age did.... that is, other women almost any age did.... And that she wore sarees instead of senseless skirts and suits....

Anyone could have slipped down the well-polished floors of that building....

She was in the parking lot by now.... The car and the driver were ready.... the rear door open for her.... She slipped in and without any exchange of words, she was on her way to the city airport...

She relaxed in the back seat.... She had to be proud of her firm... the best building in the city for it's office... the best remuneration and employee packages... the elite clientele... and the best drivers around....

She was almost at the airport....
And then in the lobby....

Where she learnt that the flight was delayed....
She had to wait... Almost half an hour....

Well, she just wanted to get over with the day... It had been hectic... to put it in mild terms... And now here she was..... To receive one of the partners of the firm in which she worked... a septuagenarian... Still, one of the best in the field....

She stared...

Was she looking at who she thought she was looking at?

And suddenly, the person who held her interest did a little flip and almost fell over her suitcases...

Shriya hurried over....

She helped the lady steady herself.... And took a deep breath....

"Thank you, child.....", a pause..."Now have I seen you somewhere?"

Shriya smiled..... Atleast she hoped she did...

"I think so, you must be Krish's mom ".....

The lady smiled back.... Mrs. Parvathi Shanker had always had a better smile than her.... anyday

"Yes.... And you are...."

"Shriya... an old classmate of his..."

"How are you, dear?"

Shriya remembered Mrs.Shanker's way of including "dear"s and "darling"s wherever she could...

"Fine..", she hesitated..."Mrs. Shanker."

"Oh... You can call me aunty.... or maybe Parvathi", she winked...."makes me feel younger."

Shriya smiled at that.... And blushed....

A very nice distraction.... she thought...... First the son, now the mother.....

"I just can't forgive her.... She left me all alone here... And went to what she calls should-not-be-missed sessions of aerobics....."Mrs.Shanker raved on....

Shriya was confused... The answer came just then... "My daughter-in-law..... Aakash's wife"...

Matter-of-fact statement.... Krish's elder brother's wife.....

"All alone and going somewhere?" Shriya was more than a little bit curious....

"Yes... to visit Krish.... You know he was home for a short while... And now is back there again.... Missing him already.... I really don't know what he does there all alone..... You know, Malaysia is a good country... but not as conservative as us.... And Aakash says Krish is a big grown up guy now... And well.... you know what boys do...." Mrs. Shanker was out of breath and preparing to say more....

Shriya was still... Taking in the shock....

He was no more in India.... no more anywhere near her.....
Again....

"And the last time I visited him there.... He had some girlfriend called Swapna... An Indian origin girl.... though he said she was nothing more than a good friend.... "

Shriya wanted to stop Mrs. Shanker from saying anything more....
It was already more than what she could bear... and if it got any the worse....

Maybe she was fortunate.... The flight she was waiting for just then arrived.... and the announcement saved her from further despair....

"Mrs.Shanker... Wish you a nice journey... Take care..." She shook hands and started off....

"Thank you dear, I will tell Krish I met you....."

Shriya increased her pace at that and almost ran off to the arrival section... She didn't turn back once...

Somewhere on the way over there..... she almost slipped over a child and this time no one rushed to help her......

It didn't matter..... Anymore...

Raindrops matter to wistful hearts

2007-07-11T19:27:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 8

It was pouring when he woke up....

The usual fresh morning sun was probably overworked.... It was playing hopscotch with the clouds....
Not that Krish complained... It was an entrancing sight.... The mix of gold and gray overhead....

Yet.... the downpour did not look as it would stop....
A dull morning... he made toast.... he was off today...

The toast tasted like sandpaper... And the tea was worse... As usual...
He would never get to making up a decent meal for himself.....

He stood at the balcony..... hands in pocket... his usual style.....
There was the honk of the local school bus.... It brought back some comfort to him.... There were people around.... He wasn't alone ....

He turned around and stood looking into the room from where he was....

He had to put up some curtains before his mom came over.... And had to change the rugs... they were badly tattered.... maybe change the cutlery... rather buy some more new stuff....
And wash the clothes... they were piling up in a heap..... And stock the kitchen... And collect the television set that he had sent over for repair....

He would do none of these.... It was a lot easier to face his mom and get chided than run around in this kind of weather....
Maybe it wasn't.... He remembered her rant-off last time....

He got back to his computer..... The game he was designing was not turning out as he wanted it to.... he was fed up of looking at lines of codes and the animation interface at alternating intervals....

Maybe he deserved a vacation more than he thought he did....

Maybe the fact that he had taken the week off was a good thing...

Except that the reason bothered him....

Not that he didn't love his mother.... Just that he would have preferred staying by himself than have her over for her yearly visit...

And spend the rare vacation being treated like a grown up, hare-brained kid...

Still as he regarded his big yet scantly furnished apartment.... he felt he could have anyone over for just a cup of homemade tea.... to cut out the loneliness....

Even if the tea tasted something like misplaced granules in hot water......

Prophecies

2007-07-10T21:47:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 7

The tattered piece of brown colored paper with the words written in gold was held in place on the wooden desk with a small crystal glass paper weight....

The table lamp was still lit.....

Krish slept on the nearby couch.... legs askew.... with a book lying on the floor beside him....
"A Matter Of Honor" by Jeffrey Archer .......

It was well into the dark depths of the night....
He had been reading that book for what was around the 79th time..... and yet he kept returning to the specific few pages that were already deep into him....

Dawn would arrive soon.....

The words on that small slip of paper were illuminated with an unearthly glow....

"Angels appear in this world in the least expected places ~ Search for them and you will find them not ~ Search within yourself and there She resides"

In that peaceful night, held tight by the crystal, the paper fluttered in the mild breeze that was blowing through the only window ..... And gave life to those words.....

Altophobia And Azure Skies....

2007-07-10T20:19:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 6

She had always been scared of heights....

She sat down in the wood recliner and took a sip of her coffee.... Hmm.... She was addicted to caffeine.... not that it mattered.... It helped keep her migraines in check....

The view from her terrace was awesome.... She was going to love staying here....

The skies looked beautiful.... the evening blue was spreading over the afternoon yellows and soon black would be setting in.....

She loved black...

People thought that she was a weird character... even while she was a kid.... she liked black.... her favorite number was 13.... she loved mystery stories.... thrillers.... the only kind of movies she watched were horror ..... she hated anything mushy in films.... including dialogues... wrote sad and philosophical poems.... and enjoyed hot spicy food while every other kid her age was behind things sweet....

And she was strangely unattracted to the opposite sex....

Except to......

She smiled at that...... People were foolish.... They took everything, including humans at face value....

The coffee was over.... She set the empty cup down....

She made fine coffee .... but nothing as great as her mother made for her..... the brew was just right.... the sugar level just low enough.... the aroma strong and heady enough to make her enjoy the drink.....

Again she felt alone..... Away from her home.... Away from her parents....

All alone in this new city......

Maybe the case will get over sooner than she hoped it to.....

It was all in her hands..... Rather in her mind and words.....

She loved her profession... It gave her a great pride to don on the black lawyer suit and get into the arena... to argue and fight out ..... to get onto the winning side and keep going smooth from there.....

The black suit had been a cause to her having chosen law as her career.... She grinned.... Her way of getting back at weirdos who thought her weird!

And the real reason had been that, from childhood she had had an uncanny knack for arguing with people, reasoning out and winning for her cause..... Somehow she had been always attracted to law even before she realized that it was her calling.....

And her family had been very supportive.... She belonged to what she called the middle middle class.... neither poor nor rich enough... Struggles to make ends meet.... meagre means....
Yet, she was given great education and great values..... They stood by her..... Through it all

She got up and went to the parapet wall..... And looked down the twenty floors of the apartment in which she stayed.....
Her clients had provided it..... She was lucky to be a part of one of the best law firms in the country......

She felt the same uneasiness as always.... So she looked up at the skies and smiled at the black hue that was heralding the night in..... and her dreams......

Why angels are scary...

2007-07-09T20:04:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 5

It had been exhilarating.... He wasn't going to deny that....
Watching the race had been a real thrill.. It brought in a thrill that for long he hadn't felt.... almost since he had seen her again....

Krish frowned.... Why was he comparing everything that he came across with her?

A small kid was bawling somewhere.... He turned around and saw it...
A little girl with her brother... a lean lanky boy around ten..... was standing at the entrance to the corner shop.....

Krish guessed she must have wanted to go in.... it was a cookie shop and maybe her brother refused....
His eyes moved to the window display.... A large collection of cookies and chocolates.... ready to make even adults drool...

Somehow the shop attracted him.... and he realized why......

He turned away and walked down the lane as fast as he could....
All he wanted now was someone's company.... Even Raghu had left long back.... After all he had a family here to get back to....

It made him sadder.... the loneliness....
The very same place he had always wanted to be in.... His own World.... His own lonely place....
It was like the place was tired of him and wanted to throw him out....

The cookies..... And his past.....
He wanted to forget it all.... as fast as he could....

A deep tucked away memory arose somewhere.... A Christmas tree and an angel on top of it.....
A fortune cookie that he had picked up from under it.... The words in it....

Krish shuddered.... These days it was haunting him.... the angel on top of the tree... and those lines..... the lights and the confetti... the deep silence somewhere in him.....

And her....

That long ago night.. The only year when his family celebrated Christmas to try out something different .... The warmth of that eve...
And he had thought about her..... as he picked up the cookie.....

He had been surprised.... She was no one to him..... just a classmate.... and at that exact moment he wondered how she had come up..... clear as a crystal in his mind...Her smile... Her Self ..

He had read the lines and picked up his gifts... some toy car models and computer games.... and made his way to his room after spending very little time with his family..... He wanted to show them he was least interested in all this... That festivities did not matter to him.....

But for all his apparent indifference, he had avoided looking at the angel.....

The games had been lost long since..... but the piece of fortune paper remained....

And every time he took on something major.... he read it again.....

Still, the angel haunted him..... And so did the lines..... And Shriya's smile....

Memories are meant to haunt......

2007-07-08T13:20:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 4

She entered her class with a profound feeling of nervousness.
She had been promoted to a class where nobody was familiar to her, but she would not miss her previous classmates since she had never had any friend all these years.

She had decided either to be a front bencher or to occupy one of the last rows to avoid the curious eyes of everyone.

Even as she entered the room, she noticed that the entire front and the back benches were occupied.

She raised her head slowly and avoiding the perfunctory and inevitable stares from some, she spotted a vacant seat somewhere in the middle . Immediately lowering her eyes she hesitantly made her way down to the seat.

Half way down her way was blocked by someone-a boy.

"Excuse me,” she said meekly. Maybe he did not hear for he did not move. She tried once more, a bit loudly, her patience wearing off, being replaced by anger.

Still he did not acknowledge her.

Angry by now, she excused herself and even as he turned, she raised her head only to look straight ahead into his eyes, falling down into that deep, bottomless abyss called love.

Soulmates...... A whisper in her mind.......

That had been years back..... The first time....

A dreamy smile came to her lips as she remembered him-the perfect smile, his tall stature, the startling eyes, his way of carrying himself, his walk-his total persona-that had magnetically drawn her to him-Krish.

And now, it was all over.... there wasn't going to be any chance of her meeting him again....

She rocked herself faster.... the coffee almost spilling over....

Weekends were always depressing.......

And she deserved it.... The only chance that she had had and she had allowed herself to act foolish and lost it all.....

Life will not reward her again....

Hell.... she never had deserved him.....

She was again miles away.... And maybe it was all for the better.......

Cars and nothing else.... Except her.....

2007-07-08T12:08:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 3

Krish stood at the stands.... binoculars in one hand and a Nike cap in the other.... he was fidgeting with the lens.... without even looking through it....

What a day..... clear blue skies.... a golden yellow hue rubbed discretely over the vast ripples of scattered clouds..... it still managed to illuminate the lands below with the yellowness that was very vital to the virgin sands.... and they shone back with glitter and light that was special to only this land.... as they did every sunny morning.....

The race was about to begin....

He was quiet... It helped that his friend who had accompanied him was busy with his walkman..... helped that right now he was left to himself and his thoughts.... his world.....past and future.... the present didn't matter much for now....

Why could he not get himself to face her.... It was even more simple now.... She couldn't have been more surprised that day they had met.... the initial disbelief on her face and the following pleasure was so evident..... anyone would have known that there was something very deep in her.... she was almost broadcasting her thoughts.....

He had been very amused..... Fact was he had been more excited and pleased than ever before.....

Hadn't he known all along..... Of course he had..... but then over a period of time he hadn't been bothered... till he started questioning himself.....

Shriya..... he smiled without realizing ......

She was someone who could touch a part of him that almost no one else could.... a him within himself..... My! He was getting poetic!

Raghu spoke suddenly....... Krish looked up to see the cars whizzing past on the track.... The race had started....

With a sigh he dropped the cap down and focussed his binoculars....

For sometime now.... he wasn't going to be alone in the world with her......

On the brink...... Of sanity

2007-07-04T22:12:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN THEM
Part 2

She stood at the very edge.... it was scary.... she shuddered and then took a long look at the walls of rock rising above her on the other side....

The stream seemed far below..... the spray of water from the massive falls was smearing her face with a dampness that was both refreshing and frightening....

The fury of the falls seemed an established fact by the deafening roar rising from below...

She wanted to turn and run away.... She wanted to stay and watch.... timelessly....

He smiled..... She was frightened to say the least....
He could see her back away from the edge.... and then move forward....
He gave a slug smile and moved towards her....

At that height, Shriya knew that even if she fell.... nothing at all could be noticed, leave alone recovered.... and that thought exhilarated her beyond her normal senses.....

She was still shuddering, still unaware.....

He caught her around her waist... she gave a little yelp.... and then stopped the struggle...

"You know, when you lean that far... you need something to hold onto.....", he smiled at her anger....

"And maybe with that you are trying to explain why you scared me this way....Krish, you are the limit", she was still shivering.

She was angry and well, she was pleased too.... though she did not show her surprise....

There was no need for Krish to hold her.... because he had anyway been only a few feet away.... even if she had slipped and fallen.....

Krish was smiling his special smile at her .... a corner of his lips curved up and his eyes gazing lazily at her..... Now, she hated it.... He always smiled that way when he was sure he knew her mind.... and that was always....

"I don't want to let go.... But if you insist I will.... "

She was silent.... Then she spoke....

"Don't you like the view.... Awesome right?"

He laughed aloud now.... and she blushed.....

"You never replied ....", he pointed out...still smiling....

She was quiet.... He hugged her closer....

They both stood there... for all the world .... two people who were obviously very much in love.... though there was no one to see them now.....
After what seemed like hours, they sighed and turned away..... to head back to normal life.... routines and rules...... still hugging, still smiling......

And that was when she woke up, and her dream faded as she felt the harsh rays of the sun hit her full force in her eyes...

A strong cup of coffee

2007-06-23T18:10:00.000+05:30

That's how I like my coffee... strong and very less sugar... if possible no sugar at all.....

It often causes people to raise their eyebrows.... many can't imagine the bitter taste of coffee.... filter coffee at that ... without sugar....

I rather enjoy those moments..... makes me feel that in a way am able to do something that they can't.... blah..... seriously..... makes me feel I got a higher range of tolerance at least in this....

Bittersweet life........

Somehow.... coffee tastes better that way.... all that shocking bitterness of coffee bean that hits you with an awakening of the senses..... and leaves the taste to linger for long long after.

Refreshing...

Imagine the perfect morning.... warm sunrise over a golden yellow horizon..... the light hits you straight on the face with a glorious wake up message.....( much more better than half those that we receive every morning in forwards.... :) )......... and you wake up... and sleepy headed open the shades and head for a cup of strong coffee......
Or a complete rainy morning, where it seems a sin to get out of bed.... and then you take your coffee standing by the window looking out at the fresh new washed world......
Or a snowed up morning.....(still haven't experienced this....), or a gloomy dull sunday morning.... or maybe the rush monday..... or a plain summer dawn.......

Anyday.... anytime..... a strong cup of coffee.....

Ranting out of senses.....

2007-06-22T19:05:00.000+05:30

(I just head off to this blog anytime I feel that I need to speak off about some emotion...... And well though its pretty often that I need to, not many posts get written for the simple reason that most get deleted soon after formation.... Some make it to this world...... Most don't. And this time I have taken it very stubbornly in my mind that I am going to rant off about this peculiar feeling called jealousy....)

BETWEEN THEM
Part 1

(In her own words....... Shriya speaks....)

It seemed years ago. When was the last time I saw her?.... maybe a decade..... and yet even now she looked the same..... her small petite figure, well maintained tresses, pale complexion, firm features..oh! I could go on... She was a beauty..... And what was the most pleasing thing about her was that she was totally unaware of her self... and so totally complete a woman..... I smiled.... And made my way towards her.... I had to simply talk to her.... My classmate a decade ago.... and I almost knew nothing about her all along.... But every time I had respected her and had this decent opinion about her..... Rithika..... It was a big party, and there were so many people around... I almost had to elbow my way through... and when I finally reached I was looking completely disheveled..... and yet I guess she could recognize my smile..... She smiled back.... and looked stunningly pretty....
"Hey, isn't it Shriya..!!... How are you??" she squealed..... I was pleasantly surprised at this excited welcome..... and was pleased......
We quickly caught up on each other's lives...career, family, home ...... and I was surprised she wasn't hitched yet.... I had always been this me-am-career-girl type while to me she always seemed to be more..... family-ish ???

A movement behind us...... I turned..... And stood shell-shocked.. It was like one of those huge rock boulders off the coast of nowhere had come and hit me shell straight in my stomach..... right on target..... Guess things were flying around in my eyes..... I felt that sick anyway....... and all the while stared into his eyes...... It was him!...
Finally!
Rithika was saying something....... Nothing registered......
"How are you?....Long time no see..." It was him.... his voice...... deep, silent, and kind of.... manly?
That brought me back to my senses..... He was actually talking to me!.... After all these years!! I smiled... and immediately regretted it.... I was sure I looked silly or stupid or flirting or... plain-right plain.... And my smile was supposed to be the best feature of mine...... I muttered a fine, thank you..... And immediately asked him something.... and he replied.... and I stood feeling stupid.
All three of us were silent.... it seemed to me that it was roughly for the stretch of time by which I could have safely driven back home and got into bed, all shivering, had I started right then...... but as usual....... like every time I see him.... my feet stood rooted and sealed and nailed and....
Cut It Out!!! I commanded myself.......
Returning to sanity.......
He was looking at me in a very strange sort of way.... amused?? Rithika was watching the two of us.......
"What you doing here alone?", it was him....... Strangely that question thrilled me..... or was I looking too deep into normal...

I stopped..... He had casually draped his hand over Rithi's shoulder.....
Every single butterfly.... or maybe a moth?.... that flew around me, my head, in my eye... stopped and fell lifeless.....
The adrenalin that had hurriedly made its way right through to my head and was bringing up beautiful old memories soured......
I stood straighter... head up.... looked at him...... in the eyes?? (a miracle... considering that never ever before had I ever had the nerve to look him straight in his eyes..... Oh !... the power of envy!!!)
"Well... was invited... so came.... Me am not alone.... I have a partner.... ",I was flaming in the cheeks now.... partly red due to my quick-on-the-feet lie and partly green due to.......
"Oh ... where is he?....", he looked around... And with his height of some 6-feet-2... I was sure he could look over most people there......
"Somewhere.. I got to be going now.... See you people around sometime....",I looked at her... and avoided him....
"So soon?.... Well.... fine... but can you give me your number....?..."Rithika fumbled around in her purse for a piece of paper..... (I could have stored in my mobile instead.... that all beauty no brains woman!!)...... I rattled off a number.... and wasn't even sure it was mine..... I was still angered by the fact that he wasn't interested in taking it......
I somehow managed to walk out..... as fast as I could.... before the tears could appear..... It took me sometime to start my car..... and with shaking fingers and brimming eyes.... I made my way out of the lot....

Krish!.... My!.... My first love!.... Who am I kidding..... My first, last and hence, only love!...... I could remember him from school..... The same silent yet well modulated voice, the glint in those eyes.... his mostly neatly combed hair..... though I loved it when it got messed.... his "I think I know what's going on in your mind" look..... and his smile......

His smile..... something that I had once sworn that I could die for......
His total persona..... yes.... sometimes I felt it was all a mask... that somewhere deep within was a complete new person who was wild and free and laughing loud and .......

On the whole.... Krish.......

A one-sided attraction....

And all along..... in school I had never spoken to him once....
It was simple ..... I was scared.....
So all that I had to be content with were glances and whispers with friends.... most of whom were convinced I was slightly....... no,completely mad.......... and talking about him whenever I got a chance... to whoever I could....

And one day it all changed....

I never saw him after we left school.......

Till today.........

It was ironical...... completely......

There had been hundreds of times when I had been walking down a street after a particularly busy day and I would just stop right in the middle and stare at someone there...... sure that I had seen him.........

All those days I was rewarded with nothing other than equally bewildered glances from others.. and I could make my way back.... feeling silly and nodding away at my stupidness......

And now.... I had to meet him here?.... today?.... with her???

I glanced at myself in the rear view....... and groaned....

I looked awful, to say the least.....

Hair that had taken a completely awkward style.... I remembered that it was today morning that I did not want to waste time washing it for the party...... after all it was supposed to be yet another get together.......
My eyes looked bleary and i had dark circles..... And a dowdy blue saree that did more damage to the big picture than add to enhancement.....
All in all.... I looked the peasant and she.... a princess......
It was obvious who he would choose..... who anyone would choose......

I started crying...... big time.... and for now all I could see around me was green....

And now for the other half...

Krish and Rithika stared at Shriya's back as she made a hurried exit.....
"You sure she is fine?...... She seems completely shocked!?", Rithika held concern in her voice....
Krish smiled..... "It's true. I mean she likes me...... And well.... ", he stopped.....
Rithi smiled....."Is it true Krish?.... Is she the girl you mentioned?.... The one you like?", and on seeing him give a smile and a heavy nod... she continued, "Great.... Nice girl...Always liked her, even in school....You going to tell her sometime before you guys age?"
Krish laughed.... "I will.... very soon.... you see, I waited all along in doubt ... whether she did ever like me.... and today...... I know......."

He smiled......... and the two friends walked hand in hand, talking about the girl in blue.....